Just Because She Is Sweet, Doesn’t Mean She Is Submissive
As I continue to engage with women through my FLR Leadership Coaching Program I am meeting many women who believe they are submissive because they enjoy catering to their families and taking care of them.
While it is true that having a pleasant personality or a pleasing personality is common in many submissive people, it is not the basic indicator of being a submissive person.
A submissive person places the needs and desires of others above their own the majority of the time. When it is time for a major decision to be made, a more dominant person’s suggestion or influence will be considered as more valuable than the submissive person’s desires.
The submissive person truly wants to allow others to lead the way, not at the expense of their happiness, but because it causes their happiness.
A sweet or pleasant person can easily allow others to make decisions for them when the decisions do not have a long term impact. This person has no desire to have control over every little thing like the dinner menu, vacation destinations or which road to take on a trip. But, you could never convince this person to violate their own instincts in favor of yours when it comes to an issue that will make a lasting impact.
She will make coffee, do sensual strip teases or compromise on which movie to watch because it pleases her to see you smile. She is doing it because it pleases her, not because she is submissive. In all of her concern for your happiness she will never allow you to choose her haircut, influence her to change careers or encourage a choice that would violate her intuition because she feels more confident leading herself in things that are important.
A submissive person will question their own instinct in favor of the suggestion of a dominant person they trust. A sweet or pleasing person wants others to be comfortable and happy but ensuring that level of comfort will never come at the expense of violating their own instincts because they trust their own intuition and instincts above all else.
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Glad to see this post. I am sweet in lots of ways and introverted but definitely not a submissive. It makes it hard to find a man who wants a FLR because I think men look for that not so nice or that more demanding type of woman, and don’t realize that a loving, kind women who is dominant can make an awesome FLR partner.