He Showed Me His Bruises

I met a young man today who described a relationship that excited and disappointed me. He told me that he met a woman online and he liked her immediately. As they began to get to know each other she told him that she wanted to move to Los Angeles and that he should move away from his city and move with her. He gladly accepted her offer, moved her to Los Angeles with him, found them a place to live and started working.  He was happy to have found someone amazing but he was beginning to feel unappreciated.

“I pay all the bills, cook and clean for her and she doesn’t even say Thank You,” he complained. “And, last night she did this.”

He lifted his sleeve and showed a purple bruise on his arm.

I shook my head and reached into my bag to retrieve a business card. I asked him for his phone, opened up his text messages and input a phone number and message.

“I just met a guy who lives in the Valley who was looking for a roommate,” I told him. “His place is affordable. He is hard working. You guys would probably be friends.”

He shook his head immediately and said, “I can’t make her homeless.”

I raised my eyebrow.

“She is not your responsibility,” I told him. “It’s cool to have a sassy Black woman who tells you what to do and curses you out sometimes. I get it. I understand your need for that. But if she is treating you in a way that makes you feel bad and you don’t like it, you don’t have to stay. If you stay, that means you like it. And you can’t complain anymore.”

“I don’t want this to get to a point where she is really hurting me,” he said.

“Then you already have a way out,” I reminded him. “She is not your responsibility.”

I share this story because I want every submissive man to understand that although you may desire a Female Led Relationship your happiness matters just as much as hers. Yes, you should place her happiness as a priority but when you are with a strong and amazing woman, she does not neglect you emotionally or abuse you physically if you have not demonstrated that you appreciate that behavior, i.e, you’re a masochist. If you are not a masochist, do not accept that type of behavior in the name of being ‘dominated’. If you are a man being abused, you should leave immediately.

There are women who will glady lead your relationship and appreciate you at the same time. You can meet some of them in the Conquer Him Community.

You are not a punching bag. You are not weak. Your service is important. Your commitment is important. What you add to the lives of women should never be dismissed as trivial. Good treatment and support is not trivial. You are not trivial. You have all the power to walk away and you should if you are being abused and you did not agree to that type of treatment.

Take care of yourself or you won’t be around to take care of someone else. You are valuable. She can not have a Female Led Relationship without you.

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