I Can’t Imagine Not Being A Submissive Husband
I requested my wife that she allow me to make a donation to ConquerHim because of the effect you have had on our relationship.
I ran across ConquerHim on Youtube, while looking for sites with dominant women. I watched several of the Queenie videos and they immediately struck a cord. I always felt that I am a submissive man but because of social norms and lack of knowledge I have not really come to terms with that until now.
As far back as I can remember my fantasies always involved a dominant sexual encounter with a forceful woman. This was to the point where I had difficulty achieving orgasm in the usual on top position without fantasizing about submission. I asked a therapist about this once and he advised that I just accept this part of me as who I am.
My wife is a kind, loving person with a full figure which I always found to be a turn on. We were very compatible intellectually. She was mostly a stay at home Mom raising our children and I fortunately was able to make enough to allow that. We had some rough years and nearly split but held on though without much passion. Our kids are out of the house and I retired a few years ago with just some very part-time work. She remained busy with hobbies, friends and volunteering. After I found ConquerHim I went to link after link to learn more about how FLR works and how it was OK for me to own my submissiveness (which by the way made my work frustrating at times with my inability to assert.)
I found cair4.com, worshipyourwife.com and read both books Mark Redmond wrote. I also enjoyed elisesutton.com, rwddh.com and mistressivey.blogspot.com being the main ones I looked to for advice. From each site, including ConquerHim, I found information that resonated and other info that I rejected as being too humiliating, D/s or involving activities I had no interest in. But each site would give me at least one or more revelations.
After some weeks I summoned up the courage to have a ‘pillow talk’ with my wife before we had sex (her on top for the last many years.) To my great relief she agreed. I shared some of the sites I had looked at. She was already controlling the sex food group by telling me when our next ‘date’ was. After all the reading I decided to stop all pornography viewing which I was ashamed of anyway. I also entered volunteer chastity which I have with only one exception in the last 3 months been able to maintain. These two decisions made a huge difference in my making her my Goddess and the only woman I fantasized about. I developed a strong submissive crush and could not tell her enough how much I loved and adored her and how attractive I found her.
NOW AVAILABLE TO ORDER
I apologized for my past behavior in not supporting her and honoring her wishes and opinions. I asked her to take control of all the remaining food groups which she has done with the exception of the investment part of our retirement. I have always handled the investments and she has no interest in controlling that part, but now I give her regular reports about how we are doing. I ask her permission on all big expenditures. When we bought a new car for her recently I did the research and came up with recommendations but it was her decision as to which car, model, options, color etc.
I have written many love notes for her to read about my love and adoration. I make the coffee and bring it her in bed and close the door to allow her quiet while I do dishes or other housework. Every day I get down before her on my knees and pledge my love and obedience as her submissive husband. We have become extremely close and affectionate.
She gets regular pedis and frequent massages. I do a lot but not all of the house work. I’m naturally more into neatness than she is anyway. She is a very good cook and likes to do that so my role there is to support and handle doing the barbecue. There is more I could relate but bottom line we are in love like we have never been before. We are still figuring things out, but I can’t imagine relating to her in any other way but as her submissive husband. Thank you to Queenie and the other FLR trailblazers.
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I am very submissive. I know that most women want a alpha male. I always submit to their desires. I was born submissive, I have tried to change, but I can’t. I have learned to live with being submissive.
This is false, maybe it was the case in the past but nowadays, there are more dominant women than ever before. The truth is that most women in first world countries are dominant and they want a submissive man but they cant find one because they are rare. The reason why you think that women want alpha males is because of pua blogs that put that lie in your head, anyone who wants to teach you how to be more alpha is not a genuine person and they are most likely scamming you. What I learned during the past 5 years is that its much better to be yourself than to try to imitate someone you are not and its also much easier to be yourself and women prefer that too. The best advice I ever got on trying to attract women is to just treat them like normal human beings, dont talk to them just to get something out of it, but if you like each other, then do ask for her phone number after meeting for the first time. Just let it happen naturally, dont try to seduce.
Many guys claim that they are submissive but they are really just sexually submissive, they watch femdom porn and they want to be dominated in specific scenes where they pick all the details.
Women dont want to fake being dominant for a few hours to fulfill your fantasy because they would gain nothing from doing that. What they want is a boyfriend who is fully devoted to her, when she wants something done, he does it, when she disagrees on something, he lets her win, every time there is a difference in opinion or power struggle, he lets her dominate him and tell him what to do. A lot of men end up doint this eventually because they realize that they cannot exert power in their relationship but they never fully surrender so their female led relationship is stuck at level 1.
If they were to surrender completely, then they could reach level 4 (total control).
You say you are submissive but what you really need to ask yourself is whether or not you really are. Are you focused on her needs at all times? Do you like having no choice? Not being able to go to the restaurant you want, not being able to choose the movie you want, not being able to choose how to live your life? Do you constantly have trouble managing your life and want someone to do it for you instead?
So basically, are you doing it to improve your life and hers at the same time? Or are your just seeking to fulfill a fantasy?
Women are almost always turned off by men who claim to want a female led relationship but never truly prove it, actions speak much louder than words.
If you want to be sure, I have a suggestion, first get a girlfriend, then do all you can to serve her and please her, surrender in every argument you have together and then as she gets more and more used to her role, then you can introduce more tools to help you both in your relationship, like chastity and punishment. However, the only way this is going to work is if you really are submissive and she really is dominant. Its easy to tell if a woman is dominant, she will try to lead as much as possible and she will try to make you do things and be more productive.
In my case, I got into femdom porn around 2015 and then in around 2016, I found out about female led relationships but I wasnt sure if they were for me, I was constantly questioning my true nature, and then recently I decided to accept myself for who I am instead of trying to become someone I am not. Everywhere they tell us men to be dominant and lead women but for many years, all I ever wanted was for someone to lead me and help me become a more productive man and in addition, I always wanted to please women in many ways. I remember seeing my parents fight many times as a kid and it was always a power struggle, my mother was a natural dominant woman who wanted to control the relationship more but my father has kept on resisting and never relented. Me, I always disliked fights in relationships, people say they are normal but me I would prefer just letting my future girlfriend win instead. She could consult me for decisions of course but she would have the final say, I would be more organized, I would be more productive and as a result, I would be much happier. And she would be too because she would have a man to fulfill all her desires whenever she wants and she would be able to get whatever she wants with no resistance.
Because I wasnt sure of what I wanted in a relationship all these years, I never searched for one, I always isolated myself socially to try to figure out important things about how I was going to live my life. During this time, I learned a lot about what I wanted from life and what women are attracted to when looking for a relationship. But now I will start going out more and putting myself out there by going to events and social groups to connect with different people and eventually be able to meet a woman I am attracted to. What I learned from all those years is that if you dont put yourself out there, there is little to no chance that you will ever meet people so its absolutely crucial that you put yourself out of your comfort zone and go out to places you wouldnt normally go.
Thank you very much for that wonderful message. I am also submissive. Not a kink not a fetish but just the way that the good Lord created me always putting the wants needs and desires of my partner before myself. It’s my lifestyle my decisions and I feel like I am a happier man for that. I recently lost my master 3 1/2 years ago to stage four cancer and I’m hoping that one day life will smile down upon me in blessing me with a new master. Thank you for Taking out the time with composing the letter and for all of your insight..