My Boyfriend Taught Me How To Dominate Him
To really understand our relationship, you really need to look at where we started. I was in my second year at university, in a city away from my family and at a time of my life where I was on the back of a breakup of a long term relationship. I found that everything since seemed short term, and unworkable. I was certainly not looking for what I found.
Steven was a year older than me and a very good friend of my roommate. He’d drop in from time to time to pick her up or to sit and drink coffee. He was a nice guy, but in many ways unremarkable. I liked him, but we had nothing in common. We were friendly, but not friends.
He was the kind of guy I knew well enough to speak to in the library, or that I knew well enough to accept a ride from if he saw me walking around the campus. I didn’t know him well enough to know what he studied or really where he lived. But we got along fine.
Most Thursday nights he would drop by at our flat, he’d pick up my roommate (who I will call Helen) and they’d go hit the bars. I was always invited, but with a 0900 lecture the next day, I always declined.
I learned Helen and Stephen would go out on the gay scene on these nights. Dispite the fact neither of them was gay they apparently enjoyed a more relaxed atmosphere (and often cheaper drinks) than they would get in the trendier student bars. I never thought anythng of it. Helen was certainly not a lesbian, and it seemed very unlikely that Stephen would be, even though I had never really seen him around many other girls. But even if he was, I didn’t care. I was not looking for a partner.
Things changed between all of us on Halloween. This Halloween fell on a Friday, which meant that I did not have class the next morning and I could go out. When they invited me to join them I said Yes even though I had to fashion a last minute schoolgirl costume from clothes I had lying around so that I could go out with them.
Unusually though, Stephen was not picking us up, we had to take the train. This was a little unusual, but again, I thought nothing of it until we reached one of the prominent gay bars and Stephen was not there.
It turned out that he was there, alright. I just did not recognize him. Across the bar I spotted him dressed like I have never seen a guy dressed before or since. He was wearing a glossy pvc french maids outfit, stockings and a wig. The outfit was only half the effect, his makeup was pretty effective too. It was hardly a guy in drag; this was the efforts of a seasoned crossdresser.
Of course Helen loved the look on my face! She asked me what I thought and I was loss for words. From that moment I had to know more about this guy. I was compelled to understand him and learn more about what made him tick.
The night was enjoyable and eventually we went back to our place. Helen was pretty drunk so she went to bed and with a little drunken confidence I started to question Stephen. He was remarkably upfront, which was an instant attraction. He explained that while he was straight, he enjoyed the sensation of being a woman occasionally, but felt restricted to costume parties or fetish events to do it publicly. With alcohol talking I found out he had briefly dated a professional domme and been her maid but it had broken up pretty quickly.
I was stunned. All I knew of the fetish scene was the typical stereotype whip wielding latex wearing bitch. I had no idea that there were guys willing to just dress up and clean, just for the sensation.
We talked for most of the night and I suggested that I could see the appeal of having a maid around. I told him if he ever wanted to come and clean my room he was more than’welcome. I don’t think either of us knew at that point if I was serious but the next day he asked if I was.
“What the hell,” I thought. “Whats the worst that could happen? I get a clean room?”
So he did. That weekend, when Helen had gone home to see her parents, Stephen cleaned my room and my bathroom and the kitchen. Like magic he spent two or three hours making the place immaculate.
And the same happened for the next few weekends. He would come, get dressed up, and clean. I would watch TV, study or I would even go out and leave him to it. But it was never love, or kink. That was still to come.
Away from the surreal world of having my own maid, I was looking into S&M online. I was also talking to him about his experiences with his ex. He was very honest about everything and while he turned my head and stomach with some stuff, the idea seemed very appealing and I told him that.
He asked how I felt about what he was doing. That was another turning point. For the first time in over a year a guy had asked my feelings. Something inside me changed when he said that.
I was honest with him. I told him that I liked him working because my life was suddenly very easy. I liked him, but the female persona was a little uncomfortable for me. He explained that the female persona was his fetish, his kink but he’d be willing to drop it for me if I desired.
WOW. Not only was he listening, he was prepared to drop his biggest kink because I had said so. He was scoring points big time.
I asked him how he felt when cleaning. He said he enjoyed it because he enjoyed it when I complimented his work. He also added that if he was honest, he would like me to be a little more involved, to actually get into the role a bit. But then he added that there was no pressure.
The next time he showed up, he presented me with a riding crop. It was a cheap one, but a statement all the same. He said that I should not feel pushed into anything, but that he was prepared to let me explore my own fantasies if I desired. Again, this was new. Every short term relationship I had been involved in since was all about pressure. I’d be pressured into giving oral sex or felt there was an expectation of me to dress a certain way. I’d felt controlled.
As I held that whip in my hand, something really changed. I remember thinking to myself, that this was the moment I realised Stephen might want more from this than just a cleaning job, and actually… I didn’t care, because I was the one calling the shots. I had the whip, this was on my terms.
The games changed once we dated. We lived an ordinary life around campus. Amongst friends we were regular people, but in private our personal, kinky and sex lives flourished.
Unlike other guys, everything he did around me was about me. Its a cliche, but I felt like his Princess. He never pushed for sex. He encouraged me to push him. He never let me down or didn’t return calls, but didn’t get awkward if I didn’t reply.
I never really pushed him hard or took advantage, but I did get used to it. There became an element of normality to how we were. Punishments were gently introduced and he introduced me into BDSM and fetish. Behind closed doors I would wear PVC or leather, I’d wear heels. With all of this intimate exploration, I must admit we had the best, most intimate sex ever.
Above all our relationship became based on trust in a way no other relationship had ever been. I never doubted him when he said he was somewhere. I never felt he was trying to get something from me. I never felt pressured. I felt honesty. I never got jealous when he was around other girls because I knew what we had was special and that he couldn’t get it elsewhere.
Likewise, he trusted me to do horrible things to him. He bought me toys and encouraged the sadist in me because he trusted me. He bought me presents not because he wanted to apologize or because he wanted something from me. He bought me gifts because he wanted to say thank you.
What more would a girl want from a boyfriend!
I’ve got to say that my introduction to BDSM and Female Led Relationships worked on two levels. Firstly it was very non-threatening and secondly it was to my advantage. He approached me, asked if I would indulge his kink and the way he did that was in no way intimidating.
If he’d handed me a whip day one and said ‘Make me clean your flat’ I’d have run a mile. But he indulged in his kink without any pressure on me to get involved. I also got my housework done which was a bonus.
By the time I was getting actively involved he had explained himself so well and pointed out the advantages that I felt ready to give it a go. Sure I was indulging his fantasies, but at the same time learning my own.
I think the biggest mistake submissive men make when trying to introduce their partners to Female Led Relationships is going too fast too soon. A gentle and playful introduction to the advantages (for the domme) is much easier to accept and experiment with than if you are confronted with a pair of bitch heels and a strap on.
I don’t see a problem with a submissive guy wanting his kinks served as long as the girl is comfortable with it and gets some benefit. In my case it was a tidy flat for me and an outlet for his cross dressing for him. Mutual satisfaction.
By the way, we are happily married now.