Conquer Him Is Not A Femdom Blog

When I first created Conquer Him, I intended to explore the concepts of female domination, female led relationships, female supremacy and female superiority. I chose these concepts due to a wildly popular blog post that I wrote many years back.

Because I had not been an active participant in any of these relationship dynamics, I opened up the blog to guest posts and asked readers to share their stories and I invited dominant women I met through Fetlife to share their stories as well.

As I continued to interview women, ask intimate questions and really get a firm grasp on what a femdom relationship consists of, I noticed that femdom was just a small part of the bigger picture.  There are many types of Female Led Relationships and couples use a variety of tactics and practices to create a clear understanding of their expectations. Femdom is a tactic used within a Female Led Relationship.

Femdom seems to be based on controlling, restricting and guiding the man’s actions (which is why I named the site CONQUER HIM). After studying and asking more questions, I became disenchanted when I noticed that femdom was focused too much on controlling the man’s behavior or using force to elicit a man’s compliance.

How can femdom be a sustainable facet of a Female Led Relationship when she spends the majority of her time controlling his choices instead of enjoying his support? What kind of quality of life is that?

As I explored more through interviews with bloggers and couples who engage in the Dominant/submissive dynamic where the woman was leading, I felt a pull to focus on the relationship behind the femdom instead of the femdom activities.

Despite my mounting misgivings, I noticed one thing that has allowed me to continue to appreciate the practice of femdom, although I am not an advocate for it. I can still appreciate femdom because all of the women in femdom relationships had one amazing quality in common, they truly loved their partners and used femdom as a way to express their love.

In my opinion the female domination aspect of a Female Led Relationship is just a way of expressing love, according to the couple’s needs. She may be a sadist or extremely controlling and they may use female domination to express this part of her personality. He may need extreme guidance to overcome habits that she finds annoying. He may enjoy having a woman to correct him and hold him to high standards.

Through all of the femdom activities, the common denominator was the fact that no Dominant/submissive relationship could work without a firm foundation of love and trust.

So Conquer Him became Conquer Him (With Love) and the focus shifted from being femdom centered to being centered on love and appreciation for entering into this type of power exchange relationship. Through love, acceptance of each other’s kinks, and understanding, couples everywhere can create a Female Led Relationship that is just right for them.

I also aim to introduce the concept of FLR to women who have no knowledge of BDSM because I certainly had no idea that there were so many men out there whose sole mission in life was to support, cater to and cherish a powerful woman.

If more women knew that they can choose to have a partner who listens to them, encourages their leadership and wants to please them every day, it may lead to a shift in the power of all women. Imagine what life would be like when women were cared for, protected and nurtured by men who sincerely want to witness the growth of the women they love.

These men who have made up their minds that they can not settle for less than a powerful woman should be celebrated for choosing to be the helpmate to a woman who is determined to become the pinnacle of her potential. These men do not need to be forced to support the woman they love. They choose to do it because it delights them to see her happy. His reward is her happiness. I encourage women to cherish these men, to conquer/overtake them with love.

If you are looking for a How-To guide for femdom practices like pegging, spanking, bondage, chastity or humiliation and degradation you are not reading the correct site. While I do offer femdom coaching through our FLR Training For Women, I will never offer that type of information on Conquer Him (With Love) because I am devoted to celebrating the foundation of FLRs; love, trust and honoring a woman’s choices.

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