Dear Queenie: I Want My Wife To Fulfill My Fantasies

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Greetings Queenie!

I am GLAD that I joined this page … THANK YOU for having me. I have so many questions .. I want to learn from others and share as I unfold the mysteries that are encapsulated with this adventure.

I married an “Alpha Female”. She is smarter than me, and I am okay with that. This union is not our first relationship, but it IS the first relationship that has made us both feel complete in a long time. We both came from marriages with cheating spouses. So we have had to build trust between us … and it took a little time, but we got it done.

Like I said, she is an Alpha Female. She is the bread winner in our home. I have a monthly installment from an early retirement and she makes 3 times that amount. I try to contribute equally. I cook, clean, pamper and run errands. I do the grocery shopping, dishes, vacuum and other things like maintain the household, and contribute in other ways.

I want to be submissive to my wife. I have told her this. She is “okay” with it, but she does not know all that it encompasses for me. To me, it is surrender. I am trying to be submissive to her without announcing it so much as doing it. THAT is why I am here.

I am in school and trying to change careers. I should be studying right now, but I have a high sex drive for someone my age and a wicked imagination. I want to learn how to be more submissive to the point of fulfilling my fantasies and elevating her self esteem as well as empowering her for bigger and better things.

I want her to humiliate me a little. I want her to deny me orgasms and “demand” that I satisfy her more often. She knows this but will not play along. I have suggested role playing but that does not last too long. Again, THIS is why I am here ….

I want to empower her and help her see the positive attributes to this arrangement. I want to take small steps and let things develop as they will.

ANY and ALL suggestions welcome.




Thank you for joining Conquer Him. Congrats on being lucky enough to marry an alpha woman. It’s cool that you want to be submissive to your wife but since you said she is not interested in having total control over you, it is best to leave it alone.

From what you wrote, you have this fantasy in your mind of how you two should interact. A Female Led Relationship is not at all about your fantasies, it is about creating the lifestyle that SHE envisions.

Did you realize how many times you wrote- I want? Is this a Female Led Relationship or are you hiring her to fulfill your fantasies? You are being selfish when you try to manipulate her into being who you want her to be and I admire her for saying No to you.

If she had expressed an interest in playing with you a little more then I would say invite her to participate in the FLR Coaching Program for Women but you have presented your desires and she has dismissed them, which is perfectly fine and you need to accept that.

A Female Led Relationship is about creating the life of HER dreams, not yours. If you say that you really want a FLR, then you have to allow her to lead. She is already leading you, why don’t you relax and follow? She does not want to create your vision. She likes your relationship the way it is.

If you desperately need something that she can not offer you, either leave her, wait for her to come around (without being a pest about it) or go pay a Femdom Mistress to give you what you want.

In the meantime while you decide what you will do, continue to meet her needs and be as submissive as you desire to be. Ask for her permission for things. Tell her she is your Goddess. Remind her how smart she is. Tell her you trust her judgment more than anyone in the world. Yield all authority to her. Worship her with your words and your actions.

That’s all you can do. Only a secretly submissive woman will bend to your demands to be humiliated and dominated by force. If you can be satisfied by a woman who “plays” dominant, then hiring one is your best bet.




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6 Responses to “Dear Queenie: I Want My Wife To Fulfill My Fantasies

  • In my relationship my bettet half will every so often will use her special toy, but not realy the way I wish she would. She still wants me to always be in control. And I want her to take thatvfrom me and claim dominance. What can I do?

    Your want to be sub

    • You can respectfully make the request to her openly and honestly. If she is not interested, leave it alone. This is not about what you want, remember that.

  • IMO, he went about it all wrong and it resulted in turning her off. If he, instead, invited her to browse the articles of ConquerHim, and similar sites, she may have seen what Femdom is really like and began to understand its powerful dynamics. Odds are, she has a bad idea about Femdom. I can’t blame her if she does.

    I would not have advised him to visit a dominatrix, unless his wife was OK with it. She may otherwise think of it as cheating.

    Kink-aware marriage counseling may help, but the only practical solution I see to his problem is education. That’s what you, Queenie, can help them with!

    • I honestly think the problem is his. If he truly wants a FLR, he already has one. He does not want a FLR, he wants to lead and have her fulfill his fantasies. He should become a dominant instead. In my opinion, he just wants domination which is a fetish for him. I am not here to force or convince women to bend to the whims of men. If he is that desperate where he is miserable without what he fantasizes about, he should hire someone.

  • I agree wholeheartedly with your advice. Some men just don’t get it….it’s not about you, moron, it’s about HER! Accept it or move on. There’s always the chance she might come around to his way of thinking but it’s all up to her…in her way and her own time. I wouldn’t recommend that he see a professional or anyone else behind her back..that would be a deal breaker. However, if he wants to risk her wrath by broaching the subject with her to see if she would allow it, at least that would be honest. However, if she emphatically forbids it..than he should accept her decision and shut up about it. In a FLR, if you’re the submissive partner, you can’t have it your way, unless she happens to want it that way too. But don’t hold your breath, subby hubby. Just get yourself on with those chores and be happy you have such a woman in your life!

  • I’ve found that putting the woman’s needs first (in the bedroom and in the rest of your life) reaps so many benefits for both. Since my wife and I have decided to focus on her pleasure in the bedroom and make my pleasure secondary, we’ve never been happier! We have sex more often, she orgasms frequently, we are both over the moon in love again!

    He needs to refocus on the pleasure of the woman and things will be so much better for both of them.

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