4 Responses to “Dear Queenie: My Wife Won’t Appreciate My Submission

  • I know this might not get published but oh well. Sounds like you are wanting a relationship with your wife where she really is in charge and by her asserting her dominance it sexually motivates you and you desire that tease and denial part and some aspects of kink. In my opinion if you are to be responsible for everything you should get that or she can do her half of everything also. This website is not a femdom site and in my opinion not even a true FLR site, although at times they do have some good reads. This is more of a site for what I think is the opposite of a submissive which I call a doormat! They teach her that you should want to do everything for your partner with nothing in return for it. Last I knew a relationship is a two way street not one way!! A better site I think that would fit you good is called shemakestherules. I’m sure there are men out there though that are doormats and give and give and give and get nothing in return. That isn’t a loving relationship it’s a very selfish one on the women’s side. Sooner or later though these men do wake up and realize it isn’t worth getting nothing in return and end up looking other places. Taking pleasure in pleasing your women is great but men also have needs also. But everyone is different and that’s what makes us all unique right?

    • An FLR is what ever the couple wants as long as both are happy and everything is motivated by love. The common denominator is that the woman is LEADING in every aspect. Leading and bossing someone around are two different things; even a kid can be bossy, doesn’t mean they should be a leader. A leader takes responsibility for truimphs and also the failures of the relationship and family. Like the example where he had to take control of the finances, in an FLR the woman is capable enough to know that if her man is better with money SHE SHOULD LET HIM handle the money. Just like in a male led relationship, the woman follows his guidance and no one calls her a doormat.

  • Kevin,
    I must agree with Anne and Mark and in part with Queenie. Though you obviously want an FLR, your relationship is not one… yet. My suggestion to you would be to sit down with your partner and talk about your situation. Tell he what bothers you, what you like and don’t like, and give her the opportunity to do the same.
    If you can come to some kind of agreement on how your relationship will be run in the future, then you have a chance, but if she is not willing to change or to accommodate your needs at all, well, maybe you should look elsewhere. After all, they BDSm groups for people who want something more than they can get at home.

    Mistress Ivey

  • To be honest, Kevin, it doesn’t feel like a Female Led Relationship. I can tell it’s something you think you want, I’m less certain it’s what your wife craves. Queenie is absolutely right, it’s essential to stop topping from the bottom. That’s something you’re just going to have to think through, or preferably discuss with your wife. As long as you top from the bottom you’ll inhibit the development of the FLR you’re so keen to cultivate.

    I know you’ve been married 7 years, but it might be a good idea to treat a FLR as the injection of excitement your relationship needs. Talk to her about it, see if starting out on this new adventure appeals to her … and the both of you set yourselves achievable goals. You are there to serve her. Make that a beautiful experience for her. Pamper her, brush her hair for her, bathe her … but only if she permits it. Don’t get disappointed and give up if something you try doesn’t work out perfectly. Discuss the issue with her and find out what can be done to make it better. Believe me, it works! My Goddess and i constantly discuss areas our FLR can be improved upon. Remember, she is you leader. The ‘L’ bit stands for ‘Led’ … she will want to have confidence in your commitment to her authority.

    There’s quite a lot for you work on, Kevin! Good luck! Let us know how you manage.

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