My Feelings For FLRs Are Like An Addiction
I came upon your website (and subscribed) and was so happy that I did. The really neat thing about it is how it focuses on “normal” couples who can thrive and be happy in a Female Led Relationship. I also like the title of your website although I’ll bet that the vast majority of the men readers don’t put up any fight at all. We surrender before our wives even attempt to “conquer” us.
I don’t talk about the FLR subject much outside of with my wife, of 29 years, except for an occasional comment to the ladies at work that I’m the domestic and/or that she’s the boss. There’s still a fear in me that if I truly open up on how I absolutely love being submissive/subservient to my wife that people will think I’m weird. Being how I’m wired, I do notice all of what’s going on around me though. I’m convinced that women one by one and year by year are slowly taking over. What? Everything.
My wife is more traditional. We have four kids, we’re both successful professionally and we have close ties to our Catholic faith. She resists some of the role changes that are taking place but she tolerates my ways. She hasn’t done housework/laundry/grocery shopping of any type for at least 20 years and she’d happily admit that I’m like her personal assistant. She’s pretty busy so the need is real and rarely does a day go by that I’m not asked to do something. That said, she’s not 100% on board with the FLR concept but also no longer says that I married a man and not a woman, as she did in the early years of our role reversal. She is also coming around to how women are taking charge outside the home.
She’s a professor and sees how women/girls are whipping the men/boys in education. Also, she has a healthcare background and actually believes that the environment is causing changes in men that stunt their desire to exert themselves. Her theory is that the mass use of birth control is causing estrogen to infiltrate our water system, it’s being swallowed by men and causing some erosion in our masculinity. She’s still old fashioned so she worries about a society full of wimpy men. That said, she sees how I support her career with taking away all tasks/organization in our home and I’m sure she would not want it another way. She’s long past the guilt stage of me doing everything at home. I just wish she would more outwardly embrace her role as being in-charge.
For me, I couldn’t even imagine being the boss and she knows it. I am the boss at work though. I often wonder how I got to be how I am and I think of instances in my life that may have triggered my brain to want to be bossed/led. The psychology of FLR truly fascinates me. I try hard to focus on the non sexual aspects of being a sincere submissive husband but it’s really hard not to want that side too. I’m not talking about anything hardcore, just things like her communicating to me and the world that she wears the pants. My wife says my feelings are like an addiction and maybe she’s right but it enters my mind every day. I saw your post on the commercial with the guy doing laundry and being told to go to the store. I’m regularly in that position. My wife expects me to do all the housework but she doesn’t hesitate to tell me when she’s not satisfied. She’s Italian and I get yelled at here and there. With her, it’s like a subtle form of dominance. There’s absolutely no question on who’s the boss in our house but she alone decides when she wants to exert it.
So I’m already a fan of your approach/website and I look forward to learning from you and your readers. I’ve spent much of my adult life trying to show my wife the benefits of FLR. It frustrates me that were not on the same page but I love my wife for who she is and I’m grateful for when she does offer a tease or action. She does truly know that she has the power to really put me in her complete control but she largely holds back. As for me, I’m not embarrassed to do housework, to say that I’m her servant (In a nice way), to admit that she rules the roost. It’s all very natural to me. I suspect that the direction of women’s leadership outside the home will cause future generations of men to have to accept a similar role, whether they like it or not. I always felt like I’m ahead of my time but very happy too!
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To the writer of the post. Thanks for sharing. You seemed to focus on two themes – if I understood you correctly. The first had to do with your wife’s take charge attitude with respect to you and your home. Your second had to do with your desire that she more completely embrace accept and share (at least with you) the dominance she obviously holds and has over you. I too am in a similar position with the same desires. Like you, there is an attitude of awe when she takes control and speaks her mind because I know she really is the boss and I am there to serve. But there is also an ache that she state the obvious in words and not only in action. Maybe that desires goes back to a need that I have and she doesn’t. I’m not sure but I can identify with much of what you had to say. Thanks for sharing.
I’m Hers
I too can really relate with your post. This type of FLR ( not the kinky stuff)is like an addiction to me. You have years oxperience and I’m a newcomer. For years my wife and I would clash for power, but she would normally submit to me because our deeply rooted religious raising mandated that the man must be the boss. About three years ago I had a spiritual experience that turned my world upside down. Since that time, I have come to realize that I don’t have to lead and I can submit to her leadership in our relationship. What a joy it has been. We are still learning and growing into the big changes we have made.
I see my role as a support to her. She is the main breadwinner and manages our finances. I do most of the domestic duties and do what I can do to make her life more pleasurable. We are a team, but she is the captain. It has strengthened our marriage, and I have never been happier. I think about it all the time.
I too, don’t talk about it to others because I fear they will think I’m weird,but I know it is just becoming more natural and others are sing that she wears the pants. This is not an assault on my masculinity at all. There is still plenty of “manliness ” about me , but I just love serving my goddess and I value her intelligence and wisdom. It may be an addiction, but it’s one that fulfills my life and has no negative side affects. Our world would be a better place if we would quit fighting for power and let women lead.
Kudos on this excellent expression of love for your wife. It is rewarding for me to share a likeness with other men and women FLR. The comment is likely a looking glass into our life. What a rush!! So rewarding just love it!!!