Femdom Mistress: DV

I have been dominant my entire life.

I only found out that I was “A” dominant when I went to college. I was 18 at the time, and my neighbor in the dorms was a lifestyle dominant several years older than I was. While I was very open, and she and I talked a lot about relationship things, I had never had any exposure to BDSM before I met her.

As my neighbor, she knew about most of my dating history. I was openly bisexual already in college, and she knew I had a strong of unsuccessful relationships with both men and women at that point. Things were great until we started arguing or butting heads over being the one in charge. She suggested I tried meeting submissive men. At the time, I thought submissive men would be boring and wimpy, so I wasn’t very enthusiastic.

She decided to change my mind, and so one afternoon when her 2 submissive boyfriends were over doing some of her chores, she asked me to “babysit” them while she went to the bursar’s office to take care of some paperwork. They were told to pamper me when they finished their chores for her. I had my first manicure and pedicure by submissive men that day, and I was intrigued that these 2 were neither boring nor wimpy. One was extremely talkative, well read and very outgoing. The other was shy, more of a movie guy than a book guy, and not as chatty. They were both submissive, but about as different as possible. She made her point. I was willing to give submissives a chance. That began a long journey in the lifestyle.

I thought my desire to hurt people was bad.

I am a sadist. I always thought that my desire to hurt people was bad, wrong and potentially disturbed. I was just not meeting the right people. Things changed for me when I met masochists who wanted to be hurt as much as I wanted to hurt them. I met emotional masochists who were into the humiliation I enjoyed so much as well. It was eye opening. I spent my first year with her, meeting her friends, learning from them and from her about safety and techniques as well as finding interests I never would have even considered. It was also when I learned that I was a vampire.

I am a blood drinking vampire. My first experience drinking was with a fluid bonded partner of my mentor. We had both been caning him, since I was learning how. It broke the skin in one spot, and my mentor asked me if I had ever tasted blood. I hadn’t, and so she suggested I try it at least once. I did, and it was good. We progressed to cutting for blood from there, and it was a rush knowing that I was literally in a position to end someone’s life if I chose to, but instead I was just taking their lifeblood and making it my own. I have always been careful with my drinking, sticking to partners who are fluid bonded with me or with a trusted friend.

I met my cross dressing age player cuckhold in Vegas.

Fast forward quite some time, after many short experimental relationships and several hectic moves around the US. I moved to Las Vegas after a divorce from a vanilla man who thought that I was only going to be a dominant woman until I married the right man and learned my place. He didn’t express this thought until after the wedding, and the marriage did not even last one year.

While living in Las Vegas I met Angel, my cross dressing age player cuckold. He was a virgin when we got together and he and I never had sex. I moved to Tennessee after meeting him, though our relationship did better when we were long distance than it fared when we were closer together.
I met Fox while Angel and I were trying to patch up some problems. Fox had logged onto Collarme.com for the first time the day we started chatting. His photo hadn’t even been approved yet. We weren’t even meeting because we were interested in one another. He was living away from his family for the first time, at university in a dorm. I had only been in Nashville for 10 months and didn’t really know anyone outside of Angel and his friends, so I thought getting to know someone new would be good for us both. We had started chatting the same day we initially messaged on Collarme, and we moved to yahoo messenger and the phone soon after. We decided to meet and go out walking in the park the next day since he had 2 cancelled classes and I was off work.

Our connection was immediate, according to him when he drove up to the apartment complex I was living in at the time. He said that he saw me and was hoping he would get to meet me on his way out, not realizing I was the one he was coming to meet in the first place. I knew shortly into our first conversation, about superhero movies and the improvements in effects over the years, that we were going to date. We went to the park, walked around from early afternoon when he came by, until sunset.

I knew Fox identified as a slave, but he had never had any experience at all with the realities of it. He knew what he wanted, just never found someone he wanted to give himself to. He was 20 at the time, I was 30. The 10 year difference didn’t phase either of us. He also admitted to me that he had never kissed anyone, much less anything else. I kissed him. I initiated it while we were sitting on the couch trying to find something to keep on as background noise in on the TV. His cell phone rang, his family called mid-kiss and he was so startled that we stopped. He teases his sisters to this day that they ruined his first kiss by calling to see when he was coming home.

Fox was collared 3 days later. I had gotten a stainless steel collar and hemp cord, and woven a macramé patter for the collar. It was a complete surprise, since we hadn’t really discussed it beyond knowing he really wanted to be collared when the relationship was right. I knew I was making the right choice, even then.

Sex was a hard limit.

When we began our relationship, sex was a hard limit. Fox wanted to wait until he was married, or at least engaged and planning to marry, the woman he lost his virginity to. I respected that, and as hard as it was going to be I considered it worth it.

Although it was hard for me to stay that way, I was a perfect gentlewoman. We slept next to one another more nights than not, and we had no problems with scenes. He is a light masochist, and having been completely untried we were not sure how light. Fox had his first spanking, completely clothed, with me. We also played with ice, candlewax and bondage. I crossdressed him in panties and pajamas, and I saw him naked several times, but no sex. Limits are limits, though, and I told him that he had to let me know when he was ready or I wouldn’t touch him.

3 months later, we found ourselves taking a road trip up to New York for my best friend’s wedding. Since I lived in Tennessee and not in New York anymore, she had asked me to be a bridesmaid, but asked another close friend to be the Maid of Honor. That other friend skipped out on her less than a week before the wedding, and so she was stuck. I told her I would be her Maid of Honor on short notice, and we were heading up early to go over plans.

While we were trying to find her hotel, where she and the wedding party were all staying, I was driving in unfamiliar city areas. Fox was my navigator since the GPS wouldn’t stay stuck to the window. I turned to him and said, “I have something I need to know.”

His response was, jokingly, “If you are asking me to marry you, its awkward timing but yes. “
“Not exactly”, I replied, “Was the hotel‘s street called East or West? I am worried we took a wrong turn somewhere.”

We eventually found our way. We met the bride and groom to be for dinner, since we had missed the rehearsal dinner already, and got filled in on what was going on. As a thank you for filling in last minute, she asked if there was anything she could do to say thank you. When the guys got up to go fetch us coffees, I asked her if she would put our song into her dance mix, I wanted to dance to it with Fox. She was happy to. I also asked her for another favor. She was thrilled about that as well.

The next day was the wedding. It was a very traditional Jewish ceremony, and Fox sat with some friends I introduced him to while I stood with the couple the whole time. After the ceremony, we had our entrance to the hall, and I rejoined him. I had no speech planned, which was not a problem. We were at the dancing and eating part of the wedding soon.

Everything I do, I do it for you.

Our song, “Everything I Do I Do It For You” was not only in the mix, but she had asked that it be a spotlight dance for us. Everyone in attendance ringed the dance floor while Fox and I had our first ever dance together. While we were dancing in front of everyone, I whispered in his ear “Would you still say yes?”

He said “Are you actually asking?”

I nodded, and he cried. When he said yes, there was a cheer from the group around the dance floor. My second favor was getting my best friend’s blessing to propose during that dance. She was thrilled that I would make her part of it, and she agreed to be my Matron of Honor when we set our date. No one, of all the assembled family and friends, thought a single thing odd of me proposing to him.

That night, back at the hotel after taking our leave from the new couple, we finally got a chance to be alone. He said to me, in his sexiest voice, “I don’t think I want you to respect my limits anymore.” That was the first night we had sex.

It has been 7 years together. We were married on the 2 year anniversary of his collaring. We are monogamous, and only play with one another. We have discovered that Fox is gender fluid, and he cross dresses of his own accord when he has girl days. Our relationship is heavily permission based. Fox needs permission for everything when we are together, from going to the restroom to eating and everything else. Most things he is allowed to do when he is alone, except spending money and masturbating. Those he always needs permission to do regardless of if we are together or not. I am in charge of the finances, I make all the decisions in the house and out of it, and until recently I was the major bread winner. He was, and still is, my wife. When he was working less than I was, he would have the house cleaned and my coffee ready for me when I got home. Sometimes he would make dinner for me, other times just prep for me to cook. At home, he still prefers not to drive when we travel.

We are currently living in South Korea. He had a job opportunity here, and I came along. I work part time because I wanted to. The cultural differences are pretty major, but we are getting used to it. We weren’t involved in our local scene back at home anyway, so not having one here isn’t a major deal. We do have a better opportunity to shop for him for his cross dressing here than we ever have before, because no one questions us buying whatever we please.

We are sappy, silly and romantic. Our vanilla friends have never suspected that Fox is anything other than a very devoted husband. Most of our friends, lifestyle and vanilla, think that our relationship is one of the happiest they have ever seen. I was lucky to meet someone I fell so instantly in love with who was so compatible. We continue to explore, after 7 years we are still finding things that we enjoy and that he has never tried.

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