Conquer Him Goals For The New Year
After quite a few startling comments and emails from readers I decided that I needed to make the focus of Conquer Him (With Love) more succinct and straight forward.
In order to do this I created a poll to gauge the popular opinion of the readers. These are the results.
As you can see, 81% of Conquer Him readers believe that a Female Led Relationship is about supporting the woman and giving her the desires of her heart for the simple pleasure of pleasing her.
19% of Conquer Him readers believe that Female Led Relationships are about controlling, dominating and subjugating the man.
As I continue my mission with Conquer Him (With Love), which aims to introduce the concept of Female Led Relationship into the mainstream, I must be diligent in crafting a message that will appeal to women and men who are not interested in BDSM and kink.
Although this site attracts kinksters, dommes and masochistic submissives who crave forceful control, punishment and degradation, Conquer Him (With Love) is not about those things. My goal for the new year is to reduce the number of readers who believe that FLRs should be based on controlling, dominating or degrading men.
If you are a man looking for a place to encourage you in your pursuit of pain, punishment and forced discipline, this is not the site for you.
If you are a man who needs a woman to force you to take care of your own life goals and you can not function in this world without the focused attention and dominance of a woman, this is not the site for you.
Conquer Him (With Love) aims to attract, train and match Powerful Women with men who are self sufficient, skilled, useful and proud to be submissive to women. These Submissive Gentlemen do not yearn to sleep on the floor or be whipped and forced to comply. These Submissive Gentlemen are assets to the lives of the women they love because they are just as intelligent and powerful as the woman they are partnered with. These Submissive Gentlemen are heroes who serve the woman they love not because they can’t function without a woman’s guidance but because they have much to offer a strong and Powerful Woman to help her achieve her heart’s desires.
If you are a woman whose husband has introduced the idea of a FLR and you don’t quite know what to do, this site is for you. Regardless of his intentions, the mere fact that he has given you this beautiful gift of telling you about FLRs will change your world forever.
A Female Led Relationship is not about what the man wants and needs or his desires to be dominated and controlled. That is Femdom. Femdom focuses on the man’s needs and the woman spends the majority of her time servicing him the way he wants to be dominated.
A Female Led Relationship focuses on creating the woman’s fantasy life and the man takes focused effort to create it for her. But, before he can help her create her dream life, she must first know what she wants. The FLR Leadership Training Program for Women presented by Conquer Him (With Love) will help you to decide what you want, build your confidence, answer any questions you may have and adjust your perspective of what a FLR truly is so that both you and your partner can build a truly amazing relationship.
Once again, to avoid any future confusion I will make my intentions plain.
Conquer Him (With Love) does not promote Female Led Relationships that are based on BDSM, kink, Femdom, S&M or Female Superiority.
We encourage loving relationships where respect for the mutual choice to participate in a FLR is at the center and appreciation for the ongoing choice to participate in this dynamic leads both parties to love each other unconditionally.
The man offers his unconditional support to the dreams and goals of the woman he loves and asks for nothing in return except for her appreciation and love for allowing him to be her hero.
This is the basis of the concept of the Female Led Relationship that I am teaching through Conquer Him (With Love).
I am currently building a Community for people interested in Female Led Relationships that are genuinely about the empowerment of women and not about servicing masochistic men. There are men who truly love being partnered with strong women and do not need to be beat down to feel sexually satisfied.
You are free to believe what you like and you are also free to disagree with me but if you are here to express your kinks and call it a FLR, you will not be entertained, not by me anyway.
No, I have never embarked on such a mission before. Yes, I will probably make mistakes along the way. But, I do believe that Female Led Relationships can be embraced by the mainstream masses and men everywhere can be free to be the heroes that they yearn to be if the women can learn to understand that they can and should lead.
Thank you for your patience and support as I move forward with this mission. If you have any questions or want to offer a respectful opinion please do reach out to me privately.
Te-Erika Patterson
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Te-Erika,
Definitions of “Femdom” seem to differ on the Internet. Check out this one:
“First of all Femdom is neither S&M, nor is it B&D. It is about the wants, needs, and desires of the woman who now rightfully owns the title of “Mistress”. However once a woman has been offered the title of mistress, and she has accepted it. It does becomes her right and privilege to beat, humiliate and degrade her slave as if it were S&M or B&D.”
The above definition I found would seem to be in direct conflict with your definition:
“A Female Led Relationship is not about what the man wants and needs or his desires to be dominated and controlled. That is Femdom. Femdom focuses on the man’s needs and the woman spends the majority of her time servicing him the way he wants to be dominated.”
Your above definition of Femdom is totally NEW to me and had I known your definition I would have never included the term in my article titled “Christian Femdom” because the biblical focus is primarily upon the WIFE’S desires — not the husband’s.
— Ken
Yup. The definition you mentioned directly conflicts with my definition of Femdom.
In my definition, women who engage in FLRs are not Mistresses, nor do they desire to humiliate, degrade or beat another human being because we respect each other and no one should beat another human being.
It’s the beauty of writers on the internet and the beauty of your choice to decide which definition feels right to you. You can also choose to create your own. Femdom, from my observations, is about focusing on the man and controlling him and servicing him by forcefully keeping him in line. From my observation, people in happy FLRs don’t have to force anything, the gentleman willingly offers his support and submission because he adores his lady.
First and foremost I applaud your goals. I find them truly encouraging and I think your desire to take female led relationships to society’s mainstream is both admirable and needed.
I am assuming you have ‘common moderation’ functioning on the website and by doing so can eliminate any objectionable comments don’t promote those stated goals from being publicly displayed in the comment section of your posts.
However I’m not sure one can separate kink from a female led relationship. For example, if a woman no longer wants her husband to masturbate and incorporates some form of chastity device, wouldn’t society at large consider that kinky? If a woman desires sexual release while denying her partner that same release, wouldn’t society regard that as kinky? If a woman desires sexual satisfaction via his oral efforts while withholding traditional intercourse, and thereby denying him the same level of satisfaction, wouldn’t society consider that as being kinky?
I understand your point but I think because a man’s mind is so tied to sex, part of maintaining and supervising his submission successfully so that he can support her in the way she desires has to include controlling and reshaping his sexual appetite and expectations regarding sex. Once a woman delves into the sexual aspect of her relationship and does things that are not typical to societies norms, she will often labeled as being kinky.
Just my two cents. I very much enjoy your blog.
I do moderate comments, but only to catch the SPAM. There have maybe been about 3 comments total that I have deleted that were not spam, everyone can have their say as long as it is not too sexual in nature.
I never said that FLR must be separated from kink, kink is fun and can be included in a loving FLR, however, kink should not be the basis of a FLR. I never want women to think that just because a man says he needs to be put into chastity or he needs to be whipped and made to eat dog food and beaten that they are not involved in a FLR unless they do it.
If a woman does not want her husband to masturbate, that is her private choice and none of my business. I don’t care to influence her either way and I don’t want to put it into any woman’s mind that she SHOULD HAVE TO restrict a man sexually just to consider herself to be involved in a FLR. Men have all of these concepts of what a FLR should be like and I am here to tell all women, a FLR is what YOU Want it to be, not what he thinks it is. If you are uncomfortable with his suggestions, don’t do them! If he is making his love for you conditional upon you beating him, humiliating him or making him kiss your feet, he is being an asshole and you should dump his ass immediately.
You are NOT supposed to perform to meet a man’s fantasy. If for some reason you decide you like some kinks, you can have them at your pace, but never perform for him at his command unless it pleases you to do so. He is supposed to be pleasing YOU. Don’t let him convince you otherwise.
And @Imhers- Thanks for the compliments and well wishes. I do work very hard on developing the content here. I’m going to keep it up.
AMEN!!!!!
Thank you for doing this =) It feels much better to me.
Thank you for taking the time to share your support. I have this vision of helping STRONG, CAPABLE and WILLING individuals to connect but when I express it, I only hear from people who criticize my vision because they think KINK/DOMINATION/CONTROL should be a staple in FLRs. I don’t think so. I want people who believe in their power, both men and women, to unite and create even more POWER in this world.
I think that to many, you seem to be narrowing the site down to your vision alone (which admittedly is your right) and creating limitations for those who do not agree with very much of what you, personally, believe. Since all of us are unique and have come to our own ideas and definitions regarding FLRs, female supremacy, female superiority and femdom, we wish to express and discuss these things without being shut out of the conversation. Maybe I will agree with you on one thing and maybe I won’t on another. Maybe I’m wrong on something, maybe you are wrong on something. Maybe we’re both right depending on our unique circumstances.
Do you believe that in an FLR, the woman is always 100% right and the male should have no say ever? Should the male be rewarded by the female or should his reward be only in his feelings about doing what she wants… always? Humans make mistakes… especially males. Should the woman discipline the male when he makes mistakes? Should the discipline differ depending on the severity? Should she give so many chances then dump him? Is an FLR different in its dynamic if the couple is married as opposed to single and living separate? There are too many variables in not only the situation, but also the personalities of the woman and the male. I would want a system to be put in place by the woman where she can choose to reward me or discipline me per my service and if and when she feels like it. I believe I should be given some say in what I like, and she should at least consider things I like and dislike, but in the end her preferences should always come first.
I do not believe kink, domination, and/or control should ever be a STAPLE in an FLR, but I do believe one or all align very well with most peoples’ definition of an FLR to at least some small degree.
I do believe in female superiority in one way only… the fact that most males cannot maintain their best level of mental, emotional, and physical consistency because of their weakness in and aptitude for their perceived need for sexual pleasure. This is where I think there can be a true need for a woman to control a male in a combination of whatever manner works best and what the woman likes/desires.
With all this said, I apologize for any offense I have caused any woman on who reads this. I truly want to better the situation for all and would humbly beg to hear and pro or con responses to the ideas I present.
Hi there. Well, this is my platform that I have put in a lot of work to develop and share my perspective of what a healthy, loving Female Led Relationship should look like. I am also shaping my message to help gather the people I want to interact with as I move forward in my goals for pushing this dynamic into the mainstream and bringing singles together who share the same ideals.
Will there be people who feel that my messages are limiting? Of course. I find that those who disagree with my teachings often share that they are offended. That is taking this too seriously. There should be no reason to be offended by one woman’s opinion. I am one woman with one platform and there are countless other blogs and websites out there to peruse if this one does not meet your tastes. All of us bloggers, authors and teachers, are human beings with an agenda and a message to share that we believe can help people. Just because you don’t agree with my message, doesn’t mean I am wrong or that I am out to degrade you. There are people who need to read what I am sharing and it will bring them great joy and relief. It will help them to form the relationships they never imagined that they could, yes, without humiliation, degradation and forceful control of the male. FLRs should be able to exist and flourish without those things.
My agenda is simple, to bring together two strong, powerful, loving people who appreciate the FLR dynamic and can form a healthy FLR that is not based on meeting the man’s needs of being dominated and controlled and is instead based on helping the woman to achieve her dream life. It is the man’s pleasure and privilege to do this and he does not require anything in return. She does not feel obligated to force him to honor her with good behavior by restricting or controlling him. They enjoy this FLR dynamic willingly and with honor. Neither person feels inferior or superior.
Yes, this premise alienates masochists, sadists and kinksters but that is okay; they still have Fetlife. I can not cater to everyone and I have my own limits and preferences for the type of people I want to engage with and that is my right. Thank you for reading and commenting.
Wow love this site! Keep up the good work!
I really, REALLY appreciate Paul’s comments and for the most part agree with him. I have a very similar relationship with my boyfriend who has made me the happiest girl in the world!!!! 🙂
Although I would say to you, Paul, that although a giving woman is necessary for this flr thing to work, you need to make sure she chooses how she will be giving. You should never dictate.
I think I am aligned with Te-Erika and Emily. FLR means the Female leads. The male is her support and he follows her lead not the other way around. It is from this base line that other dynamics in the relationship might evolve.
If the male suggests some sort of punishment for example but she has no interest then the suggestion stops there.
There is reason to believe that over time (as the Female becomes more confidant) the needs of the male for certain kinds of kink may
make it on her “to do” list. In the mean time the Female is in control and sets the pace. I am not suggesting certain types of “kink” are bad or should not be talked about but it does matter how it is introduced or decided. To me that is what “Female Led” is all about. She
has the final word of when, how or what.