He Wants To Be The Source of My Happiness
I always wondered why people pressure the man to be the leader of the relationship especially because of religion. What if the woman in the relationship is just better at leading? Why force it on the man if this is not something he does not have a desire to do?
My husband made my happiness the top priority and he allows me to direct the relationship. It was about what I wanted and not about what he wanted for me.
I dominated the arguments. Most of the time he just sits and listens and doesn’t really try to resist or argue with me. Not saying that he doesn’t express his opinions, but he just has no desire to argue with me about anything.
Upon us first starting the relationship he always wanted to pamper me. It started with him never wanting me to “have to work”. Of course if I am working because I want to he supports it, but he never wanted to place me in a position where I HAVE to work to make ends meet.
He also did not like to sit back while I did house work or things like that. He wanted me to be the one sitting back and relaxing while he does those things.
Everything I ask him to do he would does it or tries his best to get done. He trusts me not to take advantage of him in a negative way, but he wanted me to use him to my advantage if that makes sense.
When it comes to our budget, he is the bread winner, but I am in charge of what we do with the money and I have done a great job so far. When we moved to Houston there was time when he had to get a car title loan and pawn a lot of our belongings, but now we have a good amount in savings. All our bills are paid on time and we have much left over to have some fun with. We have goals and ambitions.
He always looked for my approval on things and made sure I was happy. I have made all the major decisions in our relationship. I made the choice for us to move from a small east Texas city to Houston Texas. I am making the decision for us to move to a smaller suburb outside of Houston when our lease is up where we live. We can still work in Houston and enjoy the exciting things that the city offers without all the clutter and complications of city life.
The things that he is in charge of, I put him in charge of those things. He does all the things willingly that I can’t do like car and house maintenance. When we go out together he does the driving, because he is the better driver in this huge city. I let him lead on things publicly when I feel that it will cause people to respect us more. Like when we have went car shopping, he looks at the cars and talks to the salesmen and makes sure the car is in good running condition and that we are getting a fair deal, but when it comes to the paper work I come in and take charge. I have the brains and he has the brawn I guess.
When it comes to Spirituality he follows my lead and trusts me. We started out as Christians and I was a very important part of my church and he supported me every step of the way. This is where it was first brought to my attention that men are supposed to rule the household and they are the spiritual leaders. But if you are better at doing that then the man, why is this something that would be forced? Why can’t the better person just do it?
At the time I had even made a choice that we should be celibate and we were for about 7 months. When I started to become more enlightened and ended up leaving the church and started seeking answers on my own, he followed my lead on that as well and trusted me. I am someone who always wants the truth no matter what and I am honest and forthcoming with him and he admires that.
He wanted to be the source of my happiness. He wanted everyone to see how he takes care of me, how he provides for me and does everything for me without me lifting a finger.
This has not always been a perfect situation because I didn’t respect him like I should because I felt he should be more dominant because that is what society tells us. I considered him to be “p***y whipped”.
On a serious note I am just the more responsible one. Not taking anything away from him, it is just that when you compare us, I am more the more responsible and organized one. I think he just noticed that in me and feels like I am better at leading the household than he would be, so why not let me do what I am already great at doing. I don’t think it was anything intentional of me leading the household it’s just the way it came to be when our personalities came together.
Since discovering your website and reading the different stories I am starting to admire and respect him for who he is and what he is trying to give to me. It is really making our relationship better and I feel closer to him in this aspect.