I am Not the Femm Version of Hitler
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Twenty days after announcing my future departure from FET I logged in to see who had requested my email address so that they could continue to stay in contact with me after I was to delete my profile. But I couldn’t get to my profile. I couldnt even get to my feed page. After a day or so I contacted FET support and alerted them I had tried different approaches to log in to my account but couldn’t. Within 24 hrs they contacted saying that I had so much mail that it flooded my account and that’s why I couldn’t get in. But it was free and clear for me to enter. I didnt know what to make of that information but I logged in…and was blown away.
I had so many messages that it was ridiculous and all from people asking me not to leave the site. And the even strangest part of all is that about 80% were from Caucasians!!! They said they had been following my activities on FET in groups and agreed with EVERYTHING I had said. It was common knowledge that I was Pro Black, and although I’m not a racist, MANY people equate the uplifting of ones own race as prejudiced. I learned at a very young age that if you challenged racism, fought racism, or pointed it out – people attempt to play jedi mind tricks and try to make the victim of racism look like the racist.
We, ESPECIALLY here in America are taught to abandon our roots and uphold another races beliefs and traditions under the guise of “We are all the same and equal.” Only problem with THAT idea is that police brutality, the work place, the media, tv, the government and politics – showed minorities everyday all day that this fake ass notion was a bald faced lie. And I had expressed that on FET in conversations MANY, MANY times on the subject of race relations. Hell, I had witnessed just as much racism in alternative lifestyle communities just as often as every other area of life. So it was EXTREMELY shocking that most of the people begging me to stay were whites who say they “live” to worship the Black woman or Black community in general.
Some of the people had been following me for a whole year on the site. They all said the same thing: You need to go Domme because its your destiny. And they were vowing servitude to the woman without a title. They wanted me to make them sacrifice for Slavery. They wanted me to lock them in cages because the blue eyed devils were out of control and had offended EVERY minority race throughout history. They yearned my reference to them as “unholy and demonic animals” who don’t appreciate the privilege bestowed upon them through theft and murder. It was INSANE, and my reply once I started to message them was simple:
“I’M NOT THE GHETTO FABULOUS AND FEMM VERSION OF HITLER YOU DAMN PSYCHO…GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!!!”
One by one I replied this until I got tired and began responding with a simple “NO.” But everyday there would be more. I had been told by Black kinksters I should be a D. But I didnt want a role and I damn near didn’t want to control anyone. I had been controlled for over 30 yrs, and although the control over my life came from my family and from a loving place – I still hated it because from my perspective it had done more harm than good. It had stunted my social growth and things I should have learned already were only now being cultivated. No, I didnt want to be in control anyone. I just wanted some kinky sex from dedicated poly kinksters….so why was that SO FUCKING HARD TO OBTAIN?! I couldn’t understand it. And the mail just kept coming and wouldn’t stop. So I decided to just deactivate my account the next day and I shut the computer down while shaking my head and sighing. The next day there was more mail and I decided to check one last time for the road. Same thing as before. I replied to the ones I was going to give my address to and deactivated my account. It was over….or so I thought.
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