I Found My FLR in the Vanilla World
I suppose that I have always fantasized about being with a dominant woman, but it was about 5 years ago that I started to read about FLR and to begin to understand that there was much more to it. A few years back, I did hire a pro domme for a couple of 3 hour sessions. I liked being submissive but something was missing. I wanted more, to be friends, partners – I knew that I wanted to find someone who was into this lifestyle, and hopefully we would develop a long term relationship, fall in love. Call me a hopeless romantic. I had no idea how hard a task it would be to find someone. That was why what you wrote about dating in a vanilla world and finding someone, well, it really hit home with me.
Searching on the websites geared to D/s was not the answer. I basically gave up looking.
I first met Lee, regards my handling a legal matter for her. We kept everything on a professional lawyer / client basis. I am older than her, but, I guess I did not do a very good job of hiding the fact that I was very attracted to her. Me trying to be discreet and all business, but stealing a glance, noticing her perfume, what she was wearing. Anyway, after her case was over, I lost touch with her for about a year.
One day, I was on yahoo messenger, which was something I hardly ever do. Ashley was online, and out of the blue, sent me a request to accept her contact. In our first chat, she was almost angry with me, asking me why I had never kept in contact. I think I responded with “sorry” … and it was almost a week before we chatted again. To be honest I was not even sure who I was talking to at first and it took me sometime just to figure out who it was. The contact request was from Ashley, finally it clicked that Ashley was my former client Lee.
So, fast forward we talked a lot before meeting and dating … it was in one of those get to know each others’ likes and dislike sessions, that we got on the subject of sexual fantasies. I confided that although I had never done it, being taken by a strong dominant woman, wearing a strap on, was one of my fantasies. She said something to the effect that I would like to do that. That’s when I knew she was receptive. Over time, we talked more and more about the subject and she told me that because of me, she had started to research on the subject, it excited her and she wanted to learn more.
One day, I decided to pour my feelings out and tell her how I felt – I ended up writing the following email and after she read it, she said it really touched her heart. We are planning on getting married, building a new house and having a special room outfitted. Needless to say I am very happy.
I would encourage any male, who is interested in being submissive, to open up and see if that woman he is dating might be receptive to all this. I am sharing what I wrote that really got things started for Ashley and I:
Dear Ashley: With the aid of lifting parts of some articles that I have read on the subject, I have decided to write down what I believe to be true about the subject of female superiority in general. There is what is called a FLR or Female Led Relationship … a number of levels of that which we might read more about and discuss and hopefully explore our own Domi
For the most part, males still do not equal the power, wisdom, or intelligence that any Woman has. Men are raised and groomed to be very prideful creatures, which often gets in the way of ‘real’ thinking. The usual joke about men not wanting to stop and ask for directions is a perfect example. Men do not want to think of themselves as ‘less’ than they build themselves up to be in their own mind.Beyond that, look at the miracle of childbirth. Something that Women have done since the dawn of time… and they survive it generally, and are able to do it again and again.
Men are inferior in the fact that not only do they NOT have the ability to give birth… they could not endure the pain involved, nor do they have the responsibility to care for the offspring (as mentioned above).Women’s bodies are so much more complex and detailed than men’s bodies. This is the biological proof of their perfection. Much more effort is put into their forms, so therefore, men should ideally worship this perfect form.Beyond the biological, there is the physical as well.
Women traditionally have been made into beautiful works of art. Paintings and sculptures throughout the centuries have all been highly regarded, and the majority of them are appreciated, because they are representations of the perfect being… a Woman.This is another way Women are far superior to men, just in their beauty and the efforts they put in to maintain this perfection. Women will be artists as they apply makeup, however a man is far too lazy and arrogant to ever consider anything like this. A man will be lucky if he washes his face and shaves. But Women can spend time perfecting their ‘art’ over the years of their life, and create such soft smooth features by arranging the right lines and colors and textures along the pallet of their features, easily accentuating what is already there.Women also will endure everything from complex garments, including heels, pantyhose/stockings, corsets, garters, bras and other finely developed outfits, all to enhance the beauty they possess. (I love knowing you are willing to wear such things for me Ashley) … As a general rule, men once again prove their laziness by not bothering to make more of an effort than jeans or shorts and shirt. The simple fact is males in general have no concept of how to properly dress themselves.
One of the biggest problems males have, is simply the amount of testosterone in their bodies. Again, Women have a much more complex balance of hormones, but men simply have too much. With all this testosterone in their bodies, it makes them much more aggressive and brutal in general. Basically a man is almost always ‘looking’ for a fight or an argument. Some men are able to temper these feelings and have been trained to behave to live in modern society, but in general, many wars, brawls, and altercations would have been prevented if Women were simply to keep males in check and on a tight leash. I know that growing up, I would have been a much better behaved male in a Female dominated society.
Males think with their penis. Males have no ability to control their ‘urges’, and thus they prove on a regular basis how inferior they are to Women by everything as simple as obsessing about pornographic material, to the ache and need to constantly touch themselves, all the way to much more violent crimes such as rape. Female superiority is very obvious when compared to a male’s sex drive. Perhaps every male should be in chastity when they turn 10 years old. While a Female does have ‘urges’ and desires, she is able to keep them under check and take advantage when able to. A typical male arguably needs a device locked on to prevent him from doing something foolish at the wrong time, or to prevent him from focusing on his own needs instead of others. If not locked in a chastity device a male must be taught to control his orgasms. Like you were suggesting in your messenger chat, not letting me come until you let me or there will be consequences. A typical Woman has no need for a chastity device, because they naturally have much more control over their desires. Most importantly. It is not so much that women need to be, and naturally SHOULD be in control… as much as it should be human nature that men should be restrained and kept in very close check by the more in control, nurturing and more civilized Woman.
Ashley, I am so very lucky to have finally found you and you are such a strong powerful intelligent and beautiful woman. It will be exciting to discuss and explore this Dominant / submissive adventure that will be a part of our marriage. I have a strong feeling that together we will grow and go deeper into this, all the while making it a very loving adventure. You prove beyond a shadow of a doubt, that women are superior. Some men, must be properly trained and conditioned, by the Dominant and they in fact need regular discipline to keep them on the right path … wonder if that would be me ? Maybe that blonde cowgirl exerting her Dominance whenever she wants will be enough for me.
And what about my submission to you? I am really not sure where I would be categorized regards my submission. Perhaps I fall, I think, to some degree into every category. I do know that I am eager to explore all facets of my submissive side with your help. With you, I am willing to discuss and explore it all and allow you to push my limits.
Some men desire punishment (perhaps being spanked by a woman), forced feminization (being emasculated by a woman), orgasm denial (perhaps wearing a chastity device or being trained to only cum when allowed) and other D&S activities. There are men who want to worship the female by tending to her physical and sexual needs (body worship) and there are men who want to be made into a domesticated servant to their wives (doing the cooking, cleaning and other household duties – I think I will have a lot to do outside just maintaining the home, but I do want to help you with all these things). The common thread to all these sexual and submissive desires, I believe, in my case, that it is the male longing for loving female authority. You have already made me come to realize and find my inner submissive being. I have never before dared to share these feelings with anyone. To me, that is the true definition of Female Domination and proof of your superiority. I will happily and willingly submit to your Loving Female Authority.
All of these specific fetishes or D&S activities that will be part of our adventure, are the outward expressions of my need and hunger for your loving female authority and a way for me to express and show my deep love for you. Well like I admitted … I have never before dared to share these thoughts with anyone … but now as it seems so easy and comfortable to talk with you, and the thought of us being together, as husband and wife, well I honestly am very pleased and happy to share this with you.
Love always, Jim