I Have Always Yearned To Be A Submissive Man
I think a lot of men are suited just fine for the leadership role. I am not one of those men. I am much more comfortable in the submissive role and ever since I realized this, my life has been better.
I am the the youngest of 3 brothers. We grew up in a competitive household. Sports were a major part of our lives. It was our identity. I was never athletic but I was all heart and I hated losing. But, losing is what made me the man I am today.
I was raised by a single mother so my respect for women and their power took hold very early. My father left us because he was weak. My mother did what she had to do to raise a family on her own. She did well without him as all of us are somewhat successful and independent, my brothers more so than me. Because I’m the youngest I always had to deal with being the fact that I was less wise and for some reason smaller than them.
I never was good with women. In fact I always feared them. Most men pursued women like they were individual conquests. I never had the passion for or desire for that game. My first love, the mother of my son, pursued me. I had just graduated college and she was my first real relationship with a woman. She loved me for being me, however, I NEVER told her my biggest secret at the time which was that I was a virgin.
I did my best to hide it giving BS excuses as to why I didn’t want to have sex yet. I was not sure if she bought it or not but she stuck with me and was patient in her conquest. We eventually slept together and up to that time it was happiest moment of my life. I had a little swagger about myself, that I really enjoyed. Then our son came and she was not ready for that responsibility but I was. I stepped up to the plate the best that I could.
The pressure to provide built a major wedge between us. The passion in our relationship eroded into a a house with love for one thing and one thing only, our son. After he was a year old she finally ended it. I was heartbroken and bitter but I knew it was the right thing. What she wanted was not what I wanted. Till this day she has no idea she was my first.
I don’t know exactly when it happened that I realized that I was a submissive man. It was a gradual process. At this point I began to understand my desire to be with a more dominant woman, someone who takes ownership in the bedroom, someone with imagination. She was not it.
My next relationship opened my eyes to a new world. Although I never came out and said I wanted a dominant woman, I gave her subtle hints with clues. She responded with the best sex I’ve ever had! She would hang gag during sex and forcefully use her hand to pull my face back and forth. She would also give me light spankings during intercourse. Anytime she would do those two things. I would orgasm almost immediately! I felt happy and true to myself for the first time in my life.
She had a kid as well and the responsibility for our kids combined with my submissiveness were too much for her. It began to take its toll as the relationship progressed. I caught her texting other men and complaining about my lack of manliness in the bed. In short, she wanted to be dominated. I could not give her that and she left. It really hurt! It took more than a year to get over her.
My competitiveness eroded as I aged and I began to find myself. I liked losing. Especially to women! Losing is like winning when it’s with a woman. I love taking the back seat. Subtle things like saying yes ma’am and being shushed by a woman are exhilarating. I take great pride in serving and giving them the best that I can give. Women in my opinion have been abused and held back for centuries. They are only now taking back what is truly theirs. . . The World.