I Introduced My Girlfriend To Being Dominant
My first impressions of Carrie were unimpressive. She seemed ok, but we shared no interests. If anything we were awkward around each other. We barely spoke except when I’d call over to see her flatmate. Her flatmate was a very good friend of mine.
There wasn’t really any interaction beyond politeness until the Halloween party. I remember being surprised when I found out she was coming along because she barely used to go out to the bars like we did. We were regulars on the gay scene!
I was very uneasy because although it was Halloween, I was out in full costume. I had been cross dressing for years, including being personal maid to a professional dominatrix, but it was still very much private. I was not too happy that she was coming out that night.
The defining moment was when I realized Carrie wasn’t laughing and wasn’t freaked out when she saw me. That was unexpected. When she took a genuine interest in my ‘hobby’, well that changed everything. I think the vodka probably helped, but she was inquisitive, and I confessed everything, including the gritty details about life cleaning for a professional dominatrix! That was probably the moment we became friends and the defining moment in our relationship.
I don’t remember how it happened exactly, but at some point she offered me the chance to come and clean for her as my maid. I completely misinterpreted her and went over, got changed, excited at the prospect of what I thought was going to be a femdom playtime. What I actually did was clean for her while she studied. She just sat there and left me to it.
I was not happy about it but felt I couldn’t just walk out. But the power balance was very genuine and when I was done, seeing her approval was rewarding. I knew then I’d be back.
This happened a few times and each time I hated myself for doing it. But I began to become obsessed with her and wanting to be dominated by her. It was so frustrating that she never took the initiative. But I fantasized that one day she would so I kept going back in hope. It never happened.
Half joking, I went to see her one day and took her a whip. She took it from me and again didn’t freak. I just saw something in her eyes and I knew this had to go further. We didn’t clean that day, we just sat and talked. She asked me to drop my cross-dressing, which was hard, but seeing her with that whip I knew that being selfish was not going to get me anywhere. Looking back, it was pure sexual rush. If you want a defining moment as a male submissive this was it. It was the moment I first really put my own kinks to one side. Until that moment all my submissive activities had been about fulfilling my own sexual urges. When I agreed to lose my female personality, but to clean as a male, I was doing something for her that actually I got nothing from.
The next time I visited her, the atmosphere had changed. I was cleaning and hating it because I wasn’t able to get into the mindset without the uniform. But in return I had this girl stood over me with my whip. She didn’t realize it, but she could have had me do anything that day.
We began dating shortly after that and I let her naturally take the lead. It wasn’t that I submitted, more that I let her take control. She chose where we ate, she chose when we met up etc. It was like my relationship with my dominatrix ex, but without any actual BDSM or overt femdom.
My advice to guys who feel uncomfortable allowing a woman to know their kinks? Never be ashamed of your fantasies. Find an outlet to talk about them with others. Even if its just an internet chat room. As long as they are legal that is!
Don’t look at a woman as a fantasy Dominatrix. I dated a girl who was a pro-domme, had all the toys and costumes and access to a dungeon. She fulfilled nearly every fantasy, but we couldn’t date as a regular couple.
I am now married to a woman who was completely new to being dominant when I met her and she is more controlling and powerful than my ex ever was.