I Think of My Wife First In Everything I Do
The one thing I have learned is that every relationship is different – different Goddesses have different levels, wants and needs; god bless them all, they know better than we do, but it means that any advice given from a male point of view is subjective, so please take this as you will, and I genuinely hope that it helps you in some way.
My last account was talking about my wife not allowing me to have male friends, or female friends the same age. The main reason wasn’t to do with them as such, it was how I was when I returned – not rude or arrogant, but I carried myself with a certain “swagger”.
She said it undone “her hard work” – I didn’t know or realize the importance of that, but I do now. Switching off is wrong i.e. you can be the perfect, subservient husband/partner when she is there and around you, but when you are at work or away from her, your thoughts drift to other things and potentially masculine pursuits. This is understandable at first – all of us are only human after all, and the mind needs to be trained as well as the body. But, your first thought, in every, single life situation, should be – “Are my first thoughts and priorities with my Goddess?”
The people around you cannot only undo all your Goddesses hard work, but they can also being you down and make you question who you are and what you are doing – men are born with a certain ego and a certain amount of pride; let’s be real, if you told another group of men that you were in a female-led relationship, you are very likely to receive some barracking – you might even receive a certain amount of joshing from a proportion of women. It is so important to forget every aspect of what other people think – one person, and one person only matters in your life; if you receive strange looks or people pass judgement on you, then smile, and explain that it is only your Goddesses opinion that counts.
This also counts when doing things, or putting yourself in certain situations which may be considered traditionally “feminine.” I used to go to the pub every lunch hour, have a few drinks and wolf down some fast food on my way back to the office. Now, I have a lovely healthy salad with a jacket potato and go clothes shopping for my wife. This was very daunting at first, again, men are almost always raised a certain way, we are taught to abhor silks, satins, flowers, frills, lace, perfume and the like. Again, none of this matters or counts anymore; your life only counts from the first point that you became involved with your Goddess. It is easier said than done, granted, but in time, it should become almost second nature. By the time of writing, I don’t think about it anymore – I have come to greatly appreciate ladies clothes and fashion.
If I go into a shop, I am more than happy to talk to the staff about colors, sizes, styles and accessories. I don’t have to continually buy items (my wife controls my finances anyway) so I have to use my ingenuity or do what I normally do, take pictures of a pretty top that I had seen for instance and then send it to her.
Another instance was when we were playing Trivial Pursuit around a friend’s house. If there is one bone of contention between us, it’s the fact that I am very highly educated and hold a number of degrees, as well as being educated at Oxford University. My wife left school at 16 with no qualifications, primarily due to caring for one of her parents who had a long term serious illness. She is very naturally intelligent but doesn’t quite have the confidence to push herself on. This can make things difficult at times.
While she is proud of me, she likes the fact that I have these things behind me, she finds it difficult being “superior” when I am the one with all the paperwork. I am naturally competitive. I always want to win. I always want to do well. One night, I did exceptionally well and won by quite some distance. I didn’t think anything of it until my wife drove us home. I asked her if everything was ok and she told me in no certain terms that everything was not ok. I asked why and she said “You work it out”.
So I did. I realized that it is not about the winning, it’s about maintaining your position and your respect. It isn’t about letting her win either, its ensuring that she doesn’t feel awkward or anything less than the Goddess she is.
If we play now, I say things like, “Well, my wife is so intelligent that I am sure she would know this one.” If she doesn’t know, I will say something along the lines of, “We all have gaps in our knowledge, and my wife certainly fills those gaps with her beauty.” This is not for everyone, granted, but it makes her happy, and suddenly the game is secondary to her and far less important to me.
It’s the same in public. You shouldn’t “switch off” if you are doing something together. Share your devotion. If my wife buys a new item of clothing, I say something like, “My wife will look so beautiful in this” to the shop assistant. If I am accompanying her to the beauty salon, I would say something along the lines of, “My wife doesn’t need beauty treatments, she is naturally beautiful and perfect in every way, but we all need pampering.” Friends and family take a little more time, but again, you should maintain your stance, maintain your devotion. I was asked by a friend whether I still watched football for instance and I said, “I would prefer to sit and watch my beautiful wife all night.”
In conclusion, it’s not about being a doormat, or a Stepford husband. My wife wants me to have character, she wants me to have personality, she wants me to be intelligent, but she also wants me to think of her first before anything, absolutely anything. Don’t be hard on yourself if it takes time or if others bring you down. Smile and walk away knowing in your heart that somewhere, somehow, your Goddess will be smiling.
Be honest with yourself and don’t be false – don’t compliment for the sake of it, be genuine with her and those around you. As I said at the start of this post, every Goddess is different, one might be of the “pass the sick bucket” variety if you shower her with loveliness filled words – and that’s fine, just learn what is best for her and work to be the best you can.