2 Responses to “Dear Queenie: I Want To Share My Wife

  • Reading through several of your articles, I generally find them informative, non-judgemental and well-written…but this one has a different tone.

    I was not aware of how many submissive men actually found the idea of cuckolding to be erotic and enticing until my boyfriend broached the subject with me. It actually came as a bit of a shock at first, to be honest.

    Instead of judging I sought to understand because this idea was so entirely foreign to me! Of course, having grown up in a Marine Corps family, the entire “submissive man” idea was also foreign to me! We’re taught “Men are supposed to be…” yet as I look at the women in my family, we are strong, dominant, intelligent capable women who do not flourish well being with domineering and controlling men. I realized that I would never be happy living under someone else’s thumb, so to speak. I also realized, looking back, that my strong personality often attracted submissive men…though I hadn’t really recognized that specifically. They didn’t work mostly because I don’t really think I understood that these men had different needs than the typical “dominant male”. I don’t even know if they truly understood that, as well! What you end up with is a whole lot of mixed messages & confusion…which is not conducive to sustaining a relationship!

    The assumption that a woman would not be open to it if she wasn’t doing it already, for instance, I have found to be false. We are socially conditioned to repress that notion and for many the thought that it is even an option doesn’t even occur to us. We assume our partner would be opposed because a dominant man would not allow such a thing…but we’re not with a dominant man. That doesn’t mean that it necessarily has to or should happen…but open communication is important in any relationship.

    Many submissive men fear their partner getting bored or being unsatisfied. It’s quite common…though not all submissive men are open to or turned on by the concept of cuckolding. It is actually about the satisfaction of seeing their partner satisfied, not all cuckolds are into the humiliation portion that seems to be a common theme in many stories. Just as not all submissive men enjoy humiliation but some do.

    Anyway…I’m still learning, but I think that it may be a topic worth exploring a bit further before dismissing the notion and chastizing the submissive man asking the question.

    • If it was introduced and brought a level of freedom to your life then it was a good thing. You are one person though and I am in contact with many women whose husbands want this so badly that they feel pressured to perform. I want women to know that just because a man requests to be cuckholded/serviced by performing as a hot wife so he can get off, the woman does not have to do it. Any man who makes such a request is asking for a performance. If she is truly dominant and this is what she wanted, she would never have to ask for permission or need him to encourage her.

      If she has not mentioned this to him and he requests it, it is not for her pleasure, it is for his. Her pleasure is the focus of the relationship.

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