I Was Raised In A Matriarchal Family System
Being from a traditional matriarchal family system, I was brought up with a mother who made all of the important decisions, and my father was often away for months at a time touring with the Navy. So, this would shape me to expect that I would do same.
In retrospect, I see that I have always practiced some type of modified version of the Female Led Relationship, in that I usually was leaned on to lead in areas where my alpha partners did not want to lead, or manage.
My first spouse did not desire to manage our finances, plan any vacations, our daughter’s educational pursuits were designed by me, and the family’s religion was chosen by me as well. Although these are big items, they were never discussed; I assumed these duties because if I had not, they were not going to be accomplished.
However, the burden of being responsible for multi-tasking, while working, attending college, raising a family, managing a home, and being responsible for my daughter’s education became too much, and began to cause a divide between us. I decided to focus on myself and the care of my daughter. Our marriage ended.
Several years later, my next relationship would begin more traditional, yet it too took on a familiar, modified version of an FLR-by-circumstance. In that shortly after our marriage, he filed bankruptcy due to a failed business venture, and this caused him to lean on me to maintain his emotional and mental health, but this was a family business and it led to significant shame, so I was forced to carry around this shame as well.
He expected me to clean up along the way, and to be a “listening ear” as well. So, for many months, I was expected to “hold him up” and to place my own feelings on the back-burner. I became an easy person to scapegoat and ridicule.
In this FLR, I was ready to leave due to having an infant, and being able to see that I can run my own home and family without a spouse and father. I chose to be healthy and raise my family. I did this and attended graduate school. It was at this time, that I began to elect to learn more about myself in determining how women of strong character, education, and professionalism can manage and design their lives, to include what type of partner they wish to attract.
In the decade that I have been single, I have been in one long term FLR, and enjoyed it, but it was with someone who traveled quite a bit, and I traveled significantly as well. This was okay for that decade, however, I am currently, expecting more from my next relationship, and this is where each FemDom has to be true to herself and determine her wants and desires, as well as, remain flexible and open to altering it when, at her discretion, she feels it no longer fits her needs.
For example, as of late, I have spoken with several men who desire women who can manage them financially, so they desire to be “submissive” in order to get financial assistance.
Therefore, they are looking for a “sugar mommy” and this has nothing to do with wanting to serve you, but wanting to use you for stability. Personally speaking, I do not want this type of relationship because it appears to be a recipe for disaster and deception. However, each FemDom has to determine the best “fit” for her.
In summary, as a mature, professional person of color, I am a proud, matriarch, and it is without any apologies I make room for exactly what I want in my sub/partner. I celebrate FLR, and only intend to stay the course. For me, FLR is a lifestyle choice, not a kink.