I Learned Not To Show Off
One thing I have learned about being in a FLR is that you are constantly learning – you never stop, and that is a great thing because there is no such thing as perfection, which means that you continue you are part of an ongoing quest to get as near to it as you can.
I was asked to give up my male friends, my occasional cigarettes, gambling, video games, junk food, energy drinks and lessen my caffeine intake drastically. That is quite a long list but I know it was for my own good because I have something of an addictive personality.
However, I have always felt a natural need to wind down after work, so I started working out more at the gym, which was acceptable to my goddess. After a while, I was probably in the best shape of my life – my muscles were larger than ever, and my abdominals were washboard-sturdy, to the point where people were remarking that I could enter competitions.
My wife and I planned a weekend away at a coastal resort in the summer (well, she chose – I was allowed to have some input but it is always her choice, as it should be). I decided to surprise her by having a very early morning workout in the hotel gym so that I was my absolute best; I was so keen to walk arm in arm with her and show all the beachgoers that I was hers, and hers alone. I was surprised to see her look quite disappointed and frustrated when she saw me all oiled up and ready to go, but she didn’t want to discuss it so that was that.
She was the same on the beach – I loved walking along and showing off all my hard work in the morning sun; I kept myself dutiful by only looking at her and the floor, although it was hard not to catch the odd admiring glimpse. She looked like it was a bit of an ordeal for her, but I couldn’t understand why.
The silence remained until our evening meal – I helped with her hair and make-up, bathed and dressed her as I always do but not a word was spoken. She then explained why she felt the way she did, and this was how our conversation went:
“I’m so sorry Madam (she has no particular preference to how she is addressed, but I often use Madam, especially in situations where I could potentially be in trouble) – I really thought I was doing something nice for you, I really thought you would like the chance to show all the girls that you were mine, and mine alone”
“How sure are you, percentage wise, that you were doing it for me?”
“90%? So that leaves 10% where you were doing it for you?”
“I….well….with respect Madam, I don’t really understand where this is going”
“Let me be very clear on this – you gave yourself to me, mind, body and soul, is that correct?”
“Yes of course Madam”
“Ok, so how would you feel if the beach was empty and we were just walking along?”
“Well, you wouldn’t be able to show me off, and show everyone that you are with a well-built guy”
“If I own you, mind body and soul, then I have no need to “show you off” – I know what you look like, I see it all the time; you massaged your own ego, but you failed to understand that I might not want, or feel the need, to massage mine”
“With respect Madam, I just thought….”
“Well, now you know, and I expect you to remember that in future – I believe you, I forgive you – there is no need for remonstration or punishment on this occasion, but I want you to remember this very clearly, and I will help you to move forwards”
“Thank you Madam, I am very grateful. You know best, you always do, my amazing, beautiful goddess”
So, the next time we went on holiday, I was still in great shape and I won’t lie by saying that a small part of me didn’t want to show myself off again. I think my wife knew this deep down, and told me that she would be helping me “move forward” as she said. I remember her pulling something long and black out of her suitcase, wondering whether I needed to hang it up or iron it for her, when she held it in her hands and smiled at me “This, is a Burkini – this is what Islamic women wear when they go in the sea or the beach – it is not really feminine as such, it doesn’t look unlike a wetsuit; you’ll get used to it after a time – as I said, your body is mine, no-one needs to see it apart from me, and you need to make sure your ego stays almost completely suppressed”
As asked, I wore it – as you would expect, I got some giggles and stares as I walked onto the beach but I saw that my wife was happy, and that was what I focused on. We then had a lovely day together on a more remote part of the coastline – I actually liked it, I really liked covering; I had some kind of window into what it must be like for Islamic women – my wife is quietly fascinated by the religion but would much prefer it if things were the other way round. She has often spoke of the fact that maybe men should veil for women – it wouldn’t surprise me if she asked me to one day, and I would of course obey and do as I was asked.
I so grateful that my superior angel taught me this lesson, and I am proud to be modest for her when the need arises. I’m sure there are some goddesses out there who would enjoy having a muscular man in their arms on the beach, but it isn’t for my wife – that is the point here, nothing is ever set in stone, each goddess has their own wants, demands and needs as I have written about recently.