My First Spanking Changed My Life
The spanking, that first one, was such a surprise. Her reason for giving me the spanking was because i hadn’t emptied the trash, but She had not asked me to empty it previously. In fact, She had cautioned me not to act too pussy whipped in front of Her Mom, who was staying with U/us. i always was told Her dominance was private and i needed to keep it that way. As I indicated earlier, She was raised by parents that felt that marriage should be male led, so letting Her Mom see me doing chores would cause problems. Well, at least that’s what i thought.
The day of the GREAT BIG SPANKING, She came home from work an hour after me, since i started 5 hours earlier, and She seemed unhappy. Then Her Mom complained about the trash being full, even though i had asked her if she needed anything an hour earlier. Wife confronted me as soon as Mom walked away, and I tried to explain to Her how i wasn’t at fault. When She marched me upstairs for a spanking, i kept thinking that i could explain myself, that She wouldn’t really hit me, because i still believed i had a right to an opinion.
During the spanking, i couldn’t think of anything because it was hurting so much. She is smaller than me physically, but i was incapable of running away or resisting because i just didn’t have it in me to risk losing Her as my dominant. After it began hurting so much, even that didn’t matter. It was overpowering. i wanted it to stop really badly and was crying long before it was over, but it wasn’t over until She decided i had been properly punished.
Afterwards, i was made to hold a penny up against the wall with my nose. She still seemed mad and i was so afraid She was going to beat me again. While i held that penny up, my butt was screaming, She had used a long leather handled shoehorn and it seemed each hit had been on either my left or right upper thigh, in that crease right by my butt.
After it was over it felt a little like returning to consciousness, or waking up. The first thought i had was that this was what i had begged for, what i knew i wanted deep deep down, to have Wife take control over me. She had done it, and the consequences were that i now knew that my opinion was forever irrelevant. She knew that She could beat me and i was afraid of Her. That changed everything, the game was over, my masculinity was shattered. W/we both knew it and i felt profoundly different, deeply ashamed for my words earlier in the day that appeared as if i had a right to an opinion. At that point i realized that i didn’t ever want another punishment, that i had better never allow myself to think i knew what was correct for me until Wife confirmed it, that from now on my focus was to be as obedient and humble as i could be. Though my butt hurt, i was intoxicated by subspace, enthralled and terrified at the same time.
When She had rested about 30 minutes, i was told to crawl over to Her and kiss Her feet. Though my face was still wet with tears, i no longer tried to protest my innocence, instead i apologized for not knowing how wrong i had been and begged on my hands and knees for Her forgiveness. She did grudgingly tell me i was forgiven, then instructed me in what chore She wanted me to attend to while She relaxed with a glass of wine, which i gratefully went to go get for Her. Besides losing my manhood, i received Her approval for eagerly doing menial domestic tasks, and this gave me the insight into my proper role, a domesticated sissy.
Already i had taken on a majority of the chores. She still cooked and did meal planning and prep until W/we retired. Then those chores were handed over to me. Sometimes She would cook if She wanted to, but She expected me to have the ingredients and a plan for dinner, and when i made the mistake of thinking i could wing it and She didn’t find my preparation sufficient, I got a beating that trained me to understand such willful pride was not to be tolerated.
Eventually, She has come to accept that i am a sissy, and has been a wonderful guide and teacher for me as i learn to improve, putting me into a chastity device, setting strict standards for me, helping me learn to sew and improve my domesticity. She knows that i am trying my hardest to be of value to Her. i know She would be better served sexually if She would take a real man as a bull and W/we have discussed this, but for now She is uninterested. Still, She isn’t above teasing me about what will happen when She does take a bull, the demeaning things that will be required of me.
In November of 2013, Wife had lost all desire for intimacy. Her libido crashed, and returning to a more vanilla dynamic was the only path to return to health. No longer am i subjected to physical punishments, I can spend my allowance and make social commitments without getting prior approval, masturbate, and ask for intimacy now (though She has always had control of that and still does decide if W/we have sex).
Still, i do the majority of domestic chores, She still decides how i look, from facial hair to what i wear. If She gives me permission, I can wear panties out, at home She will let me cross dress but i feel ridiculous when i do. She lets me have an apron collection but won’t let me tell most of O/our visitors that it’s mine, She pretends it’s Hers, even though She thinks it’s embarrassing to have one. It would just be more embarrassing to Her if O/our friends and family knew it was mine. That is sad to me, i feel like i have to live in the closet, but She knows best.