MY FLR Does Not Have Chastity
I am involved in a Female Led Relationship that does not use chastity. I love self pleasure and would be miserable if I didn’t do it several times a day. That in no way diminishes the absolute love, adoration and respect that I have for my girlfriend and she does not see it as a problem that she has to correct.
Honestly I think I would feel less submissive if I was deprived of my self pleasure or was in chastity. I serve her because I love her, I genuinely want her to feel strong and powerful. I want her to get her way. My submission is a beautiful gift to her, at least that is how I view it. I always seek to please her. I feel absolutely awful about myself if I screw something up and make her unhappy. For me this all comes from a place of total love and respect.
I want her to be in control of the relationship. I need her to be in control of the relationship. I absolutely worship the ground she walks on, and it feels so good to me to make her feel special and powerful by always putting her needs first and deferring to her if there is ever any type of disagreement.
So I definitely do not think one requires chastity for a successful FLR. There just needs to be a true desire on the part of the submissive to empower and please the dominant. Perhaps most men need chastity in order to feel submissive, but definitely not all men.
As far as my motivation for submission and service, I am motivated by my love for her. We don’t really have any set repercussions for bad service. When she’s unhappy I just feel like total shit, and that’s worse than any made up punishment could make me feel. I never want to let her down.
Perhaps our relationship is an outlier. We have had an on again off again relationship for about 5 years. We’ve experimented with a lot of things, from a traditional relationship, to switching roles in a D/s (we are both switches). We always had a lot of conflict and miscommunication and it got messy.
Then I stumbled across the concept of FLR and presented it to her. I told her honestly that it became clear to me that I could never end this relationship because I just love her too damn much, and that I was just going to accept everything she did and not try to control her anymore. We butted heads a lot.
I vowed to her that her needs would always come first from that point on. That she made the final decision about everything. That she can do whatever the fuck she wanted to do, period, and I would embrace it. I told her she now makes the rules, and while I might want to discuss something from time to time at the end of the day she makes the rules and she has final say.
That was about 6 months ago, and things have never been better between us. It took all the conflict out of our relationship. It took all the pressure off of her. She can do anything she wants to and I will unconditionally love her, support her and obey her. It’s such a beautiful concept, I feel so lucky to have stumbled across it. I wish more men could be secure enough about themselves to give it a try.