Our FLR Contract Worked Wonders For Our Relationship
My guidance could and does impact my partner. Throughout our relationship, he has made so many positive improvements to his life through my direction. Prior to our relationship and me coming and taking the FLR role without knowing that was what I was doing, he didn’t have a lot of direction. Coming into his life, I made a lot of changes.
To make a long story somewhat short we got custody of his son. This was something he was not going to push for. I think based on my direction and the guidance I had with seeing the condition his son was in, that he opened up his eyes to what was going on and worked to get custody. This was at the beginning of our relationship and we still have custody. He now lives with us at 18. The biggest challenge we still face with that situation is the stepson’s mother.
Subhub has also been more consistent in his jobs. He doesn’t leave a job until he has another one. He has since become certified in his field and has been a much more positive influence in general on our lives. He is making an impact on what he does and is appreciated in his field (whether he sees it or not, I don’t know.) I am expecting that he will continue with furthering his experience in his field or adding additional certifications that will allow him to either move up or move on.
Currently, I am working with him to get him to control some of his baser instincts which do relate to sex and also related to anger and emotional variations. I think through some of our newer tease/denial as well as working on the proper punishment and reward, I have seen positive changes in his behavior. He has been significantly more respectful since we started our contract for our FLR. His spurts of anger have decreased. He is much more engaged in our discussions and in what we are doing with the kids.
I have found that since being in the contract, getting him to be more cognizant of the roles we interact in (although he still pushes back, but really, who wants a doormat?) he has really taken to the roles so much better than I expected. He follows through, he listens, and with everything written out, it is very clear. The biggest motivator for him is sexual so by using the punishment reward system in relation to sex, I have been able to see more progress from him in much less time than I was expecting it would take us to get there.