How Do I React To My Partner’s Sexual Kinks?
Let’s begin by defining what a kink is.
According to Wikipedia: In human sexuality, kinkiness is any unconventional sexual practices, concepts or fantasies.
The women and men of Conquer Him must understand that all conventional sexual practices, concepts or fantasies were selected by average humans and became socially constructed sexual norms. This means, someone made up what is acceptable and what is not acceptable and taught others to follow these expectations. But why do we judge ourselves by standards that an average minded human set? Why is the term kink something we should be ashamed of?
A kink is usually something that is abnormal to ‘proper’ society. But what is ‘proper’? An average mind created what is proper and taught us to feel shame if we do not follow the directions from his average mind. Anyone who deviates from what his average mind could conceive as acceptable would be labeled weird or worse yet, wrong. This should never have happened. Why must we allow others to determine what are acceptable forms of love and relationships?
Most people have social deviances related to sexuality but the more insecure they are and the more they yearn for social approval, the more they hide their deviant sexual desires or try to enforce those average social norms on others. You can always tell the most insecure minds; they are the ones trying their best to force others to interact with others and live lifestyles that are aligned with socially accepted ideals. They are following the rules mandated by society and it makes them angry when others develop the freedom to be true to themselves and their natural desires. Instead of being happy and enjoying their lives, they form organizations trying to stop others from living and loving the way they want to. Their secret rationale: If they can’t be free to love in their own way, why should others be free?
True freedom in our society will come when people are free to express their sexual preferences without judgement so that they can indulge and enjoy themselves without harming others or themselves in the process.
Since this has not happened yet, I want to be sure to offer a bit of support as you try to decide just what is acceptable as a sexual kink and what is not.
Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial.
The key to truly enjoying your sexual life is to find a partner who can not only accept your sexual kinks but also appreciate your sexual kinks. And vice versa.
For women who are trying to understand why your partner has deviant sexual desires, it is important to value the fact that he shared them with you in the first place. When your partner shares a sexual desire that is typically thought to be deviant from what is acceptable, they are standing before you completely naked and vulnerable, inviting you to know who they truly are.
They are offering you the trigger to their pleasure and satisfaction while risking rejection.
When a person shares this part of themselves with you, you should react with appreciation because they obviously trust you enough to stop pretending to be socially acceptable. When expressing this level of trust by revealing who they really are, they are expressing the most sincere form of love. Appreciate that.
You are under no obligation to indulge them in their sexual kinks but when you realize that someone loves and trusts you enough to stop wearing a mask you might find that what you once thought was so disgusting isn’t so bad after all.
True love indulges. True love understands.
If you are a woman having an issue understanding and accepting your partner’s kinks and you would like help working through it, sign up for our Women’s FLR Leadership Coaching Program. Love is not as tough as we make it out to be. Look at your partner. Open up and accept them for who they are instead of who society tells you they should be.