The #1 Reason Women Ruin Female Led Relationships
Every woman in this world can experience a Female Led Relationship yet few do simply because they don’t understand that it is an option. As women we are taught to place the needs of others before our own. We are taught that being a “good” person means being humble and allowing our own needs to go unmet. We are sabotaged by these lies and doomed to live out lives filled with regret.
But we can change this, one woman at a time. We can learn how to understand our value, appreciate our unique qualities and stop interacting with others in ways that do not offer us value.
Personally, I am a single woman who is independent, strong and very smart. Whenever I meet a man I feel a tinge of disappointment because I know that he is probably not on my level in any way. Why? Because I am not the average woman so the average man will never be good enough for me. This knowledge leads me to sabotage potential Female Led Relationships by making the same mistake that I see women make time and time again.
Women ruin potential Female Led Relationships by feeling sorry for men.
Because I know that I am brilliant and I will achieve any goal that I create for myself- with or without anyone’s help, I tend to feel isolated in my greatness. Am I cocky? About my business? YES. Do I have the resume to back it up? Sure do! But with this confidence in my abilities to create my dreams, I have come to understand that everyone is not like that.
Everyone can’t take a risk, make moves and be bold for their dreams. They lack confidence, they don’t have the stamina to develop the skills they need. They may even feel pressured to conform to society’s expectations of them according to their gender.
When I began to understand that everyone just isn’t capable of doing big things in the world, nor should they have to be, I began to feel a hint of sorrow when I would meet men, ultimately giving men a chance that did not deserve it.
I did this because I felt in my heart that no one will ever match me in intelligence and drive so I may as well play around and maybe teach the men something. This was the worst attitude I could have because feeling sorry for men led to me focusing my attention on uplifting them and teaching them instead of waiting for someone who actually had something to offer to my life.
I like older men because they usually treat you like treasures. They appreciate a woman’s time and attention more because they recognize quality over quantity. One man I recently dated was significantly older than I am and with that age came certain physical limitations. Sometimes I would be my natural self and demand changes in his behavior and certain treatments or I would walk away. Other times I would feel badly about being so demanding because he was old and kind of frail and I would let things slide.
I let things slide so much that he thought he could start demanding things from me! He would tell me NO when I made requests and I was simply baffled by the fact that I had not let his ass go. I then realized that because I felt sorry for him I was allowing him to lead me. He had no clue how to be a leader and the more we interacted, the less we enjoyed each other. It was my fault- I was trying to step around his inadequacies because I felt sorry for him, but it didn’t help me or him.
Feeling sorry for a man will lead you to lower your standards for him. He will sense this and he won’t respect you. Instead he will continue to demand more from you, expecting you to cave in. And you will because- he’s just a little puppy, he doesn’t know how to do better, right?
Being with a man you feel sorry for is an indication that you are with the wrong person. A Powerful woman needs an equally Powerful man who is capable of adding something to her life that brings fulfillment. There are men out there who want to support strong women because they believe they have something to add and there are men out there who want strong women because they want someone to demand that they become better men.
If you want to babysit a man and cater to his need to be dominated and controlled then you are looking for a Femdom relationship. If you want to realize your highest potential with a strong man by your side who will stop at nothing to see you achieve your greatness then you are looking for a Loving Female Led Relationship.
Feeling sorry for a man has no place in a Loving FLR. It reduces your worth and his. The moment you begin to feel sorry for him, he begins to lead. If he is not capable of leading but you allow it because you feel sad for his limited abilities, where could he possibly lead you?
Nowhere you really want to be.
Wait for someone who brings value to your life, someone you can respect and honor for being such an asset to you. If you are a smart woman who has an extraordinary skill set, don’t lower your standards because a man can’t rise to meet them. Be willing to be alone rather than drag someone else’s sorry bones along with you.
He is supposed to be an asset to your life. If he is not capable of doing that, then he has no business standing beside you.
If you want to learn how to raise your standards and release the Powerful woman within you, join us for our next Female Led Relationship Women’s Leadership Coaching Program.