The Biggest Obstacle For Women In Female Led Relationships
As I continue to coordinate Conquer Him’s Female Led Relationship Training For Women, the ladies who participate are free to share every concern they have while structuring their FLRs. There are a few issues that most women seem to mention but there is one that stands out because it directly impacts the basic ingredient of all Female Led Relationships.
The biggest detractor from having a successful FLR is a woman’s inability to express what she wants. If the woman does not know what she wants her FLR experience to feel like, then she can not set clear expectations for her submissive partner and he can not please her.
This translates over to vanilla dating as well. Women often become upset with men for not meeting their expectations when the man has no clue what their expectations are. Women in vanilla relationships will cry to their friends because the man they care for hasn’t called, won’t plan dates or doesn’t offer them the type of gifts that they really value.
No man is a mind reader and can not be expected to simply know what you want if you do not take the time to express it to him. When you do not know what you want, he will run away with his fantasies of what an FLR is supposed to be which may not be what you want at all. Or you may find yourself trying to live up to the femdom fantasy that is depicted on the internet. Before you know it, you will be wearing leather, spanking him and constantly creating lists of tasks for him to complete so that you will feel as though you are doing it right.
What do you want?
This question baffled me the first time I heard it. I was so used to being independent and taking care of my own needs automatically that I was stumped when a submissive man asked this.
I explained to him that I do not know yet, but I would think about it and let him know. Then I took an evening to really think about what this man could do to bring a smile to my face.
What are some of the responsibilities that I have that I do not like doing? Well, I hate cooking, cleaning and shopping for household items.
What would bring a smile to my face? Well, I love it when a man brings me a gift when he sees me, to let me know he was thinking of me. I like chocolate and new panties and I like to be admired (or worshiped) with words. I like to laugh. I like having a partner to come with me and help me as a photographer when I cover events for my blogs.
Do these seem like protocols to you?
No, actually they do not. But, you have to understand that your requests don’t have to be along the lines of- Kiss my feet. Sit in the corner. Â Wear this chastity cage.
Your FLR is all about making your life easier. What can this man do to make your life better?
Make a decision about what you want your life to feel like. What do you want to experience? If you could have any type of treatment in the world, what would that be?
The answers to these questions will become your protocols. Easy, right?
There is no reason to conform to a BDSM fantasy. This is your FLR. This is about what you want. If anyone tries to convince you that there is a certain way to live out your FLR, they are lying to you.
Explore your options for your FLR and get personal support from myself and other dominant women by joining our 4 Week FLR Training Program For Women. We don’t teach you how to live out your FLR, we support you by sharing options and helping you to build the confidence you need to fully enjoy the beautiful gift of submission.
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I found this very useful. I sometimes do not know if my better half is really wanting a FLR? Sometimes she’s all in to it and other times I’m not sure she wants to be? How can I A sub male get her to choose one way or another?
Just follow her lead. Ask her how you can make her life easier and do those things. If you do that, you have a FLR. if you want to add kink, fetishes, femdom and protocols, that is a different story.
Many, if not most, women are multi-faceted emotionally… much more so than men, I believe. Whether by nature or nurture, a woman is more likely to swing between dominant and submissive than a man. A woman will have dominant or submissive feelings triggered by situations, circumstances, and different men. Even in an all female group usually one alpha woman will lead even though many of the other women are leaders in other circumstances, eg. .home, work, etc. I believe women fluctuate much easier from the dominant or the submissive than men. Other than work and some social settings where a man is required to act dominant, in his primary or core relationship(s) a submissive man remains true to his nature. For instance, in the bedroom, most women can respond to and even instigate dominant or submissive activity. Many women, dominant or submissive, will respond sexually whether her partner wants to give or receive a spanking, while a submissive man, when asked by his partner to do something that requires him to dominate her in some way, he can’t do it, it just isn’t in him. But women are wired differently. A dominant woman can be genuinely submissive at times and vice versa.