The Difference Between Being Powerful and Being Dominant
I, Queenie, am a very enterprising, creative and intelligent person but I don’t consider myself to be dominant.
During my interactions with dominant people within the BDSM scene, I noticed that they become elated when controlling others and having others follow their wishes. It seems like dominance is one of their kinks.
I personally have never felt this kind of elation when someone did things my way. In fact, I prefer to be around people who do things their way, as long as it is pleasing to me. I prefer to surround myself with people who enjoy supporting my goals and making me happy, not because I told them to or because I am controlling them, but because they enjoy doing these things of their own free will.
There is a difference between being dominant and being powerful.
A dominant person takes control. A powerful person is given control.
A dominant person has to create strategies to ensure that others follow their wishes. They may manipulate or offer incentives or otherwise put in some effort to get the person to follow their instructions. A powerful person is magnetizing and others want to do things for them just because of who they are. A powerful person is a dominant person without making effort to convince or persuade or coerce. I consider myself to be more POWERFUL than DOMINANT because of how others interact with me.
When people learn about my work, if they are intelligent, they want to partner with me or connect with me in some way, offering their services or support. I do not demand that they do it. I do not require anything of them except that they keep their word. If a person does not enjoy being of service to me or I do not enjoy their service, I do not create ways to keep them around, I don’t become upset and I do not feel as though I have failed my dominance in any way. I never try to control them so that I can have my way, I simply do not engage with them anymore.
Why? I have learned the skills I need to create all of my dreams on my own. People are attracted to my work because I dominate myself and I am self sustaining.
You can create a happy Female Led Relationship with a woman who is not dominant. She will not feel the need to control the relationship or your actions but she will express her standards and hold you accountable to meeting them.
A dominant person takes control. A powerful person is given control because people trust that they know what to do with it.
I am helping women to be more powerful in their relationships without having to exert effort to gain respect. If you want to learn how to become powerful, enroll in Conquer Him’s FLR Leadership Training for Women.
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I believe Success comes from knowing the benefits of when to rely on your “Power” and when “Dominance” best suits the occasion.
Being “Powerful” is all well and good, but sometimes you need to draw those better suited to your needs through your Dominance.
Those who easily relinquish control are not always suited for the end goal.
It’s a combination of both values in action that make for an irresistible Woman. She may be losing out on her full potential otherwise.
You may be right. I, Queenie, have no desire to control anyone though. I am much to busy for coercion. Plus, I have created a lifestyle where I am not dependent on others to meet my goals so with or without them I still hit my mark. There is really no need for me to push or pull.
I admire what Queenie has achieved with the Conquer Him With Love site. From my perspective it seems directed at thoughtful and intelligent Goddesses and the growing band of men who love to honour and serve them with clear emphasis on the fact that it’s a realistic and desirable lifestyle. It seems like quite a powerful accomplishment. I guess the proof of Queenie’s feminine power is that the site continues to grow and encourage discussion on how the leadership of women can effect and influence our lives in so many positive ways: to the erotic and beyond.
Thank you for your continued support of Conquer Him and my efforts. Because of men like you, I have been able to focus on growing this resource and shining a light on loving,healthy relationships that are focused on supporting women. As we continue to grow and impact society with this awesome message, I will remember that your support and encouragement made it possible.
Oh, Queenie, I have big doubts about the long term viability of this relationship model. Upfront, FLR celebrates selfishness. It is all about pleasing just one partner, the woman.
If the man gets pleasure doing this all the time, then great. But if he doesn’t always want to give her whatever she wants all the time or if he has needs or wants, she is encouraged to demand her needs are always met and has no obligation to fulfill his needs them if she doesn’t want to.
This model seems to make a mockery of love, which is normally seen as putting your partner’s needs before your own. In FLR, this is only 50% true.
Not that loving people always put their partner’s needs first. . But ‘giving’ is what love is all about. There is no love in ‘taking’.
People differ and for some, this might work for the long-term happiness to both. But a relationship based on pure selfishness by only one partner would seem to have very steep hill to climb if love and happiness is the goal of both partners.