10 Traits of Happy Couples in Female Led Relationships
In my quest to dissect, analyze and present the best principles of healthy, loving Female Led Relationships I have spent countless hours interviewing couples who are willing to share their personal stories. As I listen to them gush about how proud they are of their relationships or read their email interviews, I feel lucky to be doing this type of work.
There are quite a few traits that I find to be common across the happiest couples in FLRs and here are a few of them.
They feel lucky to have found each other.
Not only does the man feel honored to be in a partnership with the woman, even after YEARS of being together, the woman feels proud that she is the Goddess in his life. There are no traces of indignation. Because of the clearly expressed and agreed upon roles and expectations, both people feel proud that they are living up to their part of the agreement to live out a Female Led Relationship.
He often does things he would not normally do just to please her.
When I ask whether the man is required to do things he hates doing, the woman usually laughs and admits to playfully pushing his limits from time to time. The man will chuckle too and admit that never in his wildest dreams would he conceive of doing some of the things she has requested of him, but he does them simply because he loves to make her smile. She would never ask him to do anything that would hurt him and he trusts that.
There is not an element of total control but more of a delightful surrender.
Contrary to what most people believe, Female Led Relationships are not about control, they are about delightful surrender, at least that is what I have found. Women in happy, loving Female Led Relationships never have to force the man to comply with her wishes, he does so because he wants to. He loves giving her the world and empowering her to live out her dream life. It makes him feel powerful that he is capable of doing that for her. He is delighted to surrender the final word in decisions.
She’s called by her first name.
Women in Female Led Relationships typically do not like being called Mistress. Mistress is a term that men offer to the woman when he wants her to play a role that focuses on his desire to be dominated or forced to behave. Women in loving FLRs never have to force a man to comply because he willingly does it. His willingness to submit is one of the major differences between Femdom and a loving Female Led Relationship. When you have to force a man to comply or behave, he is not doing it out of love.
A woman in a Female Led Relationship is called by her first name because the Submissive Gentleman celebrates who she is as an individual woman and does not want to drown her distinct personality by giving her a generic title. She prefers being called by her first name because they have a genuine mutual respect for each other and she knows this is not a role she is playing, this is who she is.
She sometimes takes him for granted because he’s treats her well consistently.
I’ve heard this from time to time. The Submissive Gentleman treats her so well she becomes conditioned to having all of her needs met and she begins to feel entitled and a little bit spoiled.
The funny part is, the men secretly LOVE this. She will start feeling a little guilty about her behavior and try to reach out to make up for her behavior to him but he doesn’t really need it. He knows his dedicated love for her made her that way and he is secretly proud that he has the ability to spoil the love of his life.
He wanted a FLR just as much (if not more) than she did.
Of the couples I have interviewed, most of the men wanted the Female Led Relationship more than the women did. It turns out that men crave catering to women but some women don’t allow men to treat them like Goddesses because they think being strong and independent means not allowing a man to care for them.
Over time these independent women will relax and allow the Submissive Gentleman to take over some of the responsibilities she has guarded and she will come to depend on him without fearing that her strength is being questioned. When she surrenders and allows him to care for her, he feels like a hero, which is his natural state of being in relation to a woman. Good men want to solve problems and be the backbone for the woman they love.
She values his opinion.
You may think that a Female Led Relationship is about being involved in a romantic dictatorship but it’s not. No woman that I have interviewed desired total control over a man or wanted to be with a robot. The women value the fact that they have a smart man by their side and will ask for his input on all matters before making the decision. She definitely appreciates and seeks out his input because he is her partner in life and not her footstool.
She wants to make him as happy as he is making her.
Even though Female Led Relationships are not based on kink, couples do enjoy being wild and crazy in the bedroom and yes, when he is being super amazing and considerate she will perform that trick she knows that drives him crazy just to see him squeal like he just won the lottery.
She delights herself in being the source of his pleasure just as much as he wants to be the cause of her happiness so she will make an effort to arouse, tease and be playful with him because she appreciates him so much.
She is his protector and he is hers.
One woman told me that her husband was extremely submissive and she felt as though she had to be his protector because people would take advantage of him. She also expressed that he is also her protector when they need to go out into the world and confront society’s gender based stereotypes.
They are a team.
I receive so many emails from people asking me for advice on how to convince their partners to give a Female Led Relationship a chance and it baffles me why this happens.
There should be no reason why you should feel you have to trick a woman into being in a Female Led Relationship or hide the fact that you desire one. A Female Led Relationship is a gift to everyone involved, but especially the woman.
The only reason I can possibly imagine that you would feel ashamed about your desire for a FLR is if you want your FLR to be kink based and you don’t know if she will perform your kink for you. That is exactly why I keep reminding everyone not to base their FLRs on kink. It makes things so much more complicated. In this case, forget about your kink, learn how to serve and support her with your whole heart without expecting or demanding anything in return and then see what happens.
You are a team. There should be no secrets, no miscommunicated intentions or fearful feelings about offering each other the gift of a Female Led Relationship.
Would you be afraid to offer your partner a legitimate $1,000,000 check? If they would be hesitant to accept it or afraid to embrace such a gift from you then that means that you are not on a level that would be a good foundation for a FLR and you may need a bit of coaching to get there.
You are a team. You both want what is best for each other. A Female Led Relationship will change your life completely if you structure it correctly and go into it truly wanting each other to be happy.
You can do this. A Female Led Relationship is right for you. You can make this happen. Be open to adjusting your idea of what a FLR is. Express what you want and take a step forward.
You can do this.
Together we can turn your story into a success story.
Take a chance.