We Finally Created A Happy Female Led Relationship
At the end of Week 3 of our Female Led Relationship training program, I asked the students to share how the changes they have made in their relationships are impacting its quality. This response was written as an assignment by a student and I thought it was phenomenal so I had to share! ~Queenie
Well, this has been a long road for myself. As you all already know I had always considered myself a sub, a natural submissive even. So this idea of being dominant felt fake to me. I must admit, there were certain things and times where I REALLY LIKED dominating my husband. But those were when we happen to take a long weekend alone together. The problem was, why wasn’t that working more often, and how come I was always doing his Kinks even when I was not in the mood? Pain and guilt I have learned are NOT supposed to be a part of a Female Led Relationship! But Queenie helped me with that, though I think she wasn’t sure IF it would be enough help. While doing the first week’s homework I wondered- Would I ever be capable of leading in a FLR?
I already knew spankings were more rewards than punishments, but I felt I had a reasons to think about this really. I really identified with the lesson taught in the Conquer Him Academy about the Greek Goddesses and how they led their relationships. The story of the Goddess Artemis appealed to me much more than the Greek Goddess Aphrodite which made me reflect more on myself.
Learning my dominant style from the list of Dominant women archetypes helped tremendously. Then there were the different Authority Types which helped me to decide how to split the responsibility between my husband and I.
All of these lessons and a lot of talking with my husband has been what has guided me in the past three weeks with this wonderful group of Goddesses! My many thanks to each one of you, you have been there for me encouraging me. Mostly Queenie for not giving up on my finding the Goddess inside me.
We established that my Sub was Topping from the Bottom to get his Kinks met. I was always in pain and just wanting to be with him in any way possible, even when it felt fake. Wow, looking back, as a couple we sucked! I was really unhappy, and so was he but he didn’t know how to say it or explain it.
Now, I get made love to without any dirty words as vanilla style as I want, or not, three times a week. Every Friday night is our play night. All the Kink I want, and I am in complete charge. I get as much romance and Kink as I want. Well, almost. I still don’t have my 4 foot whip, but it will be here next week. We went shopping locally where they pointed us to places to buy whips and they also have many classes, but this year we don’t have kids and they are having a Halloween Party so we may go. I’m looking forward to feeling better and attending, unless he has something better planned.
Now I am feeling confident in what I am wanting, and telling my sub what I want. Topping from the bottom doesn’t happen anymore and I’ve needed no punishments. I get what I need and what I ask for without hesitation. As I am typing my homework, and hopefully doing this correctly, my sub/hub has been reorganizing the closets and drawers in our room like I wanted. I’ve had breakfast of waffles in bed with coffee this morning.
Working out his taking care of my needs and wants, and that any denial is a want on his part not just mine helps tremendously. We have spent more of the last few weeks talking about every lesson, every discussion question, and it has really gotten us to open up to one another about what makes us truly happy.
Wow, this is a lot of words just to really say communication between us, and being willing to explore and express our own wants and needs is what it really is all about. My wants and needs fulfills his needs to serve me. We go into this knowingly and we are now in a REAL FLR. What we had before was, well, a wish or dream that wasn’t working well. We kept nurturing and learning more until it came to fruition and this is the FLR we really want.
If you are ready to join other smart women who are reshaping their relationships and truly leading their households, sign up for our Female Led Relationship Coaching program. It is truly one of a kind, personal attention that will teach you and your partner how to create the love of your dreams!