6 Responses to “When A Man Requests A Female Led Relationship

  • Dear Ms. Queenie,

    I enjoy Your site very much. I am a single white male searching for a real and loving, long term FLR
    My question is this: As I realize my personality is such that being in a FLR would suit me best and that if I were with a Woman who wasn’t accepting or interested in that lifestyle I would continue to fantasize about being in an FLR, shouldn’t I just be honest about what I’m looking for up front? Is this considered topping from the bottom? I’m 58 and I’d really love to find a good Woman to be with long term, but I don’t want to start a relationship hoping She might be interested in an FLR only to find out I was wrong and cause pain for both of us
    I really don’t know what to do here
    Thank You

    • When you meet a woman, first determine if she is worthy to serve by being her friend and getting to know her. If she is honorable and you respect her, introduce her to the idea of an flr just like you would a male friend. Ask her if she might role play with you to see what it is like. If she is open minded and capable and she likes you, she will try it. Always remind her that she is a Goddess who deserves to be treated like one. She may just love it!

    • I met my wife on a non-FLR dating website, but I was fishing for a woman that could enjoy leading out. I ended my profile with something to the effect that I wanted to meet a strong woman who knew her own mind. Once we met I could tell that having control in our relationship appealed to her. I was careful never to take her any place she didn’t want to go. One day she wanted more information and I gave her a link to an FLR website. Next time I saw her she said, “You’ve been grooming me!” I asked her if she minded and told her I had purposed never to take her anywhere she didn’t want to go. Today we couldn’t imagine relating any other way. We married a few weeks ago.

      So it can be done.

  • While topping from the bottom is a real problem, it should not be enough reason to abandon a FLR project IMO. Every relationship needs work and that includes FLR. Topping from the bottom is a natural result of growing up in a patriarchal culture.

    The woman you’re trying to help appears to me to be in love with this man and would not let him go. She may be in for trouble, but she may also figure out a way to evolve their relationship into a FLR before long.

    Your suggestion that she stops the kinky stuff and see how that affects the relationship will probably confirm what we already know! It will probably drive him away. That will confirm that it’s the kink that he’s looking for. That won’t be a surprise to anybody, would it? FLR is not workable without the kink, because of the nature of men.

    • FLR is definitely workable without the kink. If a man needs the kink to be led, he is not truly in a FLR. FLR is about the woman’s desire for a certain lifestyle and the man making it her priority to make her dream come true. It is his pleasure and purpose in life and if she decides she does not want to satisfy his kink (which she may decide due to uncontrollable circumstances like illness) he should be fine with that. If he truly admires her as a Goddess, he will respect her wishes without enforcing his demands on her.

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