Who is Queenie of Conquer Him?
As I read through the surveys that I collected from dominant women I came across a question that made me smile. One anonymous woman asked: Who is the person running this site?
Well, I know that I have mentioned a few of my dating stories here and there but I would like to take the time to really introduce myself.
My real name is Te-Erika Patterson, I have hyperlinked my online portfolio just to save you the time of googling me. I am 36 years old. I have two teenage sons. I studied journalism in undergrad and Marriage & Family Counseling in graduate school.
I have been a blogger since 2003. I used to write about my life journey and choices as I set out to create what I thought would be my dream career as a journalist. While blogging I amassed a dedicated following by being completely transparent and never trying to impress anyone. This following transferred over to Youtube when I began making videos offering guidance for overcoming life’s obstacles.
I chose to teach women how to overcome life’s obstacles because this was an area that I feel I needed help with. I wanted to get life “right.” But I could never find anyone who could tell me how to do that. When I couldn’t find a mentor or someone to tell me what to do, I decided that I could figure it out for myself. With the help of my training in counseling and studying philosophies and religions, I have come to accept myself more and am confident that no matter what life offers, I can create something beautiful from it. I realized that no one can lead me better than I can. No one should lead me because my life is my choice. After recognizing these truths I became grateful that I did not find a mentor. Instead of looking for someone to guide me, I became the guide for others.
So this leads me to Female Led Relationships and why I am running a site called Conquer Him.
I earn all of my income from online projects, helping people with their digital marketing and branding efforts, copy writing, building websites, writing ebooks and I earn income from blogging and Youtube videos too. I love that I am my own boss. I don’t see myself ever going back to traditional employment.
With all of my passion for blogging, I have created 5 different blogs with different topics and all of them empower women. One of them is my main blog, it’s called My Savvy Sisters. This blog is all about sharing stories of successful women and sharing my secrets for overcoming obstacles in life. While working on that blog, I came across this concept of Femdom. I thought it was interesting so I did what I always do when I am intrigued, I set out to learn more.
I found a woman by the name of Elise Sutton who had written about Female Led Relationships and I reached out to her for an interview. She obliged and when I posted her interview, the traffic started pouring in. Month after month for years, that one post about Femdom was the most widely read post on my entire blog (and I have more than 1,000 posts). When I realized that so many people wanted to learn more about Femdom and Female Led Relationships I figured I would give it a try and see what would happen.
I created Conquer Him in July 2014 and it was slow at first. I invited Femdom Mistresses to contribute because I thought that Femdom and FLR were the same thing. As I continued to reach out to many women and I learned more, I realized that they are not the same. The more I interview couples, the more I learn. The more I learn, the more I refine what I believe and what I share.
I have had many changes of heart since starting Conquer Him. At first I called myself a Mistress because that is what I thought you had to be if you were in a Female Led Relationship but after a while I had to let that title go. It seems so fake to me now; like a woman pretending to be something to please a man. That is NOT what a FLR is about. At first I thought I would focus on teaching Femdom and then I realized that FLR is not about controlling a man.
I thought I would need a screen name so I called myself Queenie but then I realized that the reason these women create screen names is because they are either acting out some man’s fantasy, they are in positions where someone else will judge them for their personal activities and they need to hide their identities to protect themselves, or they are just afraid to let people know who they are because they insist on projecting a certain image.
Most Femdom teachers and Mistresses use fake photos and hide behind their blogs or books but I won’t hide. I am Te-Erika. I am all over the internet. I do not mind being publicly associated with (or judged) because of this relationship concept because THERE IS NOTHING SHAMEFUL about being in a Female Led Relationship and even if I am judged as immoral or whatever, I have positioned myself where a sordid reputation would not hinder my income.
Many people wonder how I teach on the subject of FLR when I am a single woman. Well, I used to wonder that myself. My last relationship with the father of my two sons was unsupportive and tumultuous. After him, when I thought about being with a man it used to make me sad. I felt sad because I felt powerless to receive the treatment I thought I deserved. I was powerless until I realized that men did not treat me the way that I deserved because I DID NOT REQUIRE IT. That is the biggest difference between being an average woman and being a Goddess.
Now that I require it, no one meets my standards so I decided that I could live my life as a single woman and be happy and I have done just that. I don’t want an average man. I don’t want someone who merely exists, works and tries to get his kinks met. I want someone who is my intellectual equal, someone who will be an anchor instead of someone who will be my student.
Regardless of what anyone thinks, I have come to recognize that I am the perfect teacher for FLR. Not just because of the awesome reviews I received after my last FLR Training course, but because I am not here to convince you to create a FLR because I want you to follow me.
I have looked at Female Led Relationships as an objective observer, asking questions, challenging people and over analyzing the information that I have gathered. After all of this careful consideration I truly believe that if certain concepts around Female Led Relationships are taught correctly, many couples will be so much happier.
I have not read a single book on FLR. I have not followed any FLR blogs. I teach strictly from the best analysis of the information that I personally gather from many different couples. I take the best practices from these blissful couples and share them on Conquer Him and during my FLR Trainings.
Will I ever be a part of a Female Led Relationship? How can I not? If the chance ever presents itself, I will be so happy to enjoy a partner who is like the men of Conquer Him. The ladies who have taken my course in the past have little to no complaints about their partners. Imagine going from hearing everyone gripe about their vanilla relationships to interviewing couple after couple in FLRs who truly love each other, have fun with each other and are so PROUD to be together!
These couples that I interview are crazy in love. These men that share their stories are so devoted to their relationships. It is not that submissive men are weak and need a leader. No. In the cases that I have encountered these men are extremely smart and they are attracted to women who are even smarter than they are.
They want to stand beside a woman who is amazing and enhances their natural skills. They want a woman that they enjoy listening to because when she speaks, they know it will be profound. They don’t want an average woman. They don’t want a woman who needs to be rescued. They want to know that the person they have teamed up with for life is going to ensure that they prosper and they are going to do everything they can to support her vision.
That is what Female Led Relationships are all about. That is why I devote so much of my time to studying and teaching this concept. If more women matched themselves with men who applauded their leadership instead of trying to diminish it, who knows what this world would become.
I have achieved quite a bit in this world on my own but imagine what I would achieve if I had the support of a smart and capable man who was devoted to seeing that I had everything I needed to prosper. While I do appreciate and enjoy being single more than anyone else that I know, I do understand that I could do much more in this world if I had a partner like one of the men of Conquer Him. But it’s okay. I am a Goddess. A Goddess does not NEED a man, but she can appreciate the role he could play.
As I move forward in my goals, I may find a match who is perfect for me and I promise to share the juicy details.
In the meantime I have a lot of work to do. I plan to devote as much of my time as resources will allow to offering empowerment to this community. My hope is to use my skills to take this mainstream and have young women become introduced to the concept of FLRs so that they will know that there are other options besides what society dictates.
Conquer Him will shift again so that I can attract more women who have no concept of what an FLR is. I hope you enjoy where I am heading and join me as I attempt to shine the spotlight on Female Led Relationships.
You can support my efforts to empower women by offering a donation or being personally coached by me during one of Conquer Him’s FLR Training courses that is GUARANTEED to push your Female Led Relationship to the next level!