Why Men Don’t Respect You
While chatting with a friend today she shared with me that she had recently gone through a divorce. As she shared the details of the demise of her marriage I listened quietly and heard the solution behind her words.
The man she had loved for many years seemed distant and unsure but he would not do anything to break the relationship. She had to initiate the conversation. She had to file for divorce. She had to cut the ties with the man she had promised to love forever.
Then she proceeded to explain that it is tough for her to date because the men she meets are “lame.” I shared with her what I saw to be the real issue behind her frustration: she wants to find a man who is stronger than she is.
I boldly told her that her wish would probably never happen. Why?
She’s a leader.
And her relationship fell apart because she did not take her rightful place. She did end up leaving the relationship but it was out of annoyance because he could not be who she thought she needed. I told her about Conquer Him and all of the men who are regular supporters of this cause. More than 98% of the readers of Conquer Him are men and that is because men want strong women to lead them.
There are hundreds of men who are eager and ready to be your partner. They sign up for my FLR Gentleman’s Training so that they can learn how to be a better support to you. They want you to grow and be strong.
They need it. They crave it.
But we women are taught that some Prince is going to come riding in and sweep us off our feet so we never become aware that the fantasy of a Prince is a lie, at least for most of us. Why? Because women are capable of being the strength that we believe is supposed to appear out of thin air.
There are no rescuers. The majority of men are yearning for you to uplift them, set standards and hold them accountable. Guess what? There is nothing wrong with that. While you are waiting for the man to stand up, he only wants to be at your feet.
So many women who participate in my FLR Leadership Training For Women describe their failed relationships. They say they were accommodating, sweet and careful not to hurt the man’s feelings. They were supportive and nice. None of that shit worked. The man still didn’t respect them. Why? Because men respect a woman who places herself first!
There is a chance there is a man who is stronger than you are or maybe even more intelligent but that would be a rare find. If you want to have a happy relationship you can have one with a man who wants you to lead. It is okay for you to lead your relationship. It is not a reflection on the man being weaker than you are. If he wants to follow your lead he is simply saying that he respects you and trusts you as a strong woman that he admires.
Do you wonder why men cheat?
Because you are not requiring them not to.
Do you wonder why your feelings are not respected?
Because you are not placing your desires and wants above all else.
Do you wonder why men you are good to don’t stay?
Because they want you to command respect from them.
How do you do that?
You have to set your standards for the relationship and be willing to walk away.
Fuck their feelings!
Yes, I said it. Don’t give a fuck about their feelings being hurt. If you are not having your needs met first, you should NEVER meet any of his. The more you consider his feelings before your own, the less he will respect you.
SNAP OUT OF IT!
If I need to shake you and wake up I will do whatever I have to do so that you will understand that your feelings matter. What you want matters! When he leaves you because you are not setting your standards and respecting yourself, he is taking care of HIS feelings first! He wants a strong woman and he will not settle for less! You should do the same!
You’re not the only one who is just awakening to this truth. I too have been through this situation too many times to count. But, now that I am awakened, as you are, I can only march forward and let my inner strength shine.
You have been waiting for this very moment. This is the key. This is the answer.
Always put yourself first. Fuck his feelings. Fuck what he wants. Fuck his complaints. If he is not behaving in a manner that pleases you, tell him to straighten up or get the fuck out.
He needs you to be this way. He yearns for a woman who will make him straighten up, stand tall and behave.
You’re not being his mother, you’re offering him the strength that he needs to be your support for the rest of your life.
Don’t walk away from a relationship because he is not stronger than you are and he won’t make decisions. You make the decisions. You tell him what you want. You tell him when you are ready to be exclusive. You tell him when you are ready to get married. You tell him where you want to live. You challenge him to be a better man. You tell him what he needs to do to make you happy. You make sure he is operating at his full potential. You dare him to slack off or face the consequences.
A woman like that, shit, no man would ever leave. This is how you make a man fall in love with you. This is how you find your Prince, who never really wanted to be your rescuer. He only ever wished to sit at your feet and kiss them for you.
You don’t need a savior. You have the capability of handling all situations deep within you. It’s there. Pull it out.
If you are still a bit hesitant and you want support, join our FLR Leadership Training for Women. I will practice with you. I will affirm and empower you. I will make sure that you can openly recognize the power you have to create a happy relationship at any time you want.