Never Pressure a Woman To Be More Dominating
I understand why men have the desire for a strong willed woman. He knows that if she chooses him, she’s not choosing him to appease him, she’s choosing him because he is exactly what she wants.
Many men are chosen by strong and powerful women and they are excited because they know that she will be great at leading their Female Led Relationship. Then these men become impatient because although she is clearly expressing what she wants and doesn’t want, these men want her to do MORE. They want her to be more aggressive. They want her to be more demanding. They want her to actively remind him that she is the one in charge.
While this fantasy of having a super controlling and vocal woman is common, it does not describe the powerful women of Conquer Him. Powerful women never have to explicitly demand things from men. Powerful women do not have to forcefully punish men. Powerful women are given power by others because they trust that she knows what to do with it.
When a man desires a woman who will “act” more dominant they are really saying that they do not want a FLR. If he wanted a real and true FLR, her communication style would be enough for him because even if she whispers her desires and says ‘thank you’ when things are done correctly, she is still leading by making the decisions.
Men who want a woman to be more dominating are actually asking the woman to perform for them. Â It is hurtful to the woman because she begins to feel that who she is at her core is not good enough. Â She wants to love you and lead you-her way. Why would you question her ability to love you by complaining that she is not doing it right?
Do you really want a Female Led Relationship or do you want a woman who will perform for you?
You can’t pressure a woman to dominate you. If you do, and she does it, she is only acting because she doesn’t want to lose you. If you are okay with having a fake FLR then you can keep this up. If you truly want a FLR then listen to her, accept that she is who she is and show appreciation for her choosing you in the first place. No woman wants to hear that she is not demanding enough. If you are that dissatisfied you can try to find someone else who will perform to your expectations but then again- that is not a FLR.
When you are trying to lead her to have your fantasies fulfilled you are trying to dominate her. A powerful woman won’t appreciate that.
If having an aggressive woman is important to you, you can always talk to her about having a designated play night where you can discuss the things you like and what she likes and play them out on that night only. She may play along if she thinks she will enjoy it. If she refuses to play along it simply means she does not operate that way and her desire to be more calm and sweet should be respected.
When you pressure a woman to be more dominating you are telling her that her love is not enough for you. You are complaining. You are being a pest. You are not appreciating her for who she is.
This kind of behavior, if consistent, is detrimental to any relationship. No woman wants to be told that she’s not good enough. If you really feel that way, then you must leave her alone.
If you really do love and cherish her, then allow her the space to evolve on her own. A powerful woman does not like to be pushed. A powerful woman wants to feel FREE.
Society is already trying to force her to conform to its standards. When she is at home with you give her the freedom to be who she is.
No pressure.
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Great piece. The style
of the female must be
respected if she is
truly in charge.
Awesome post. It truly describes how a FLR should be.
Excellent article, I will add to my mantra “don’t push”
Very good advice and something all of us men should take to heart. Thank you!
Well written. This underscores the importance of making the woman the priority in the relationship and not the man’s fantasies. A designated play night is a great idea, provided the woman is agreeable. The man gets a bit of his fantasy fulfilled yet still is respectful of the woman’s desires. No pressure, words to live by for men!
Yes, all said above has merit but also to be considered is that people sometimes have different natural style and preferences in an FLR which need to be respected and well fed for BOTH partners to flourish within it…….so it is entirely acceptable to realize that two people are not good matches in their optimal individual FLR styles and find a better partner…..hopefully before the relationship has become hard coded.
I think if you are with a woman and you both agree to an FLR then you have already identified she is the superior in the relationship. After that, it’s just a matter of letting her be, “her”. Her natural dominance will come out, you don’t need to force it.
My girlfriend takes great joy in lecturing me. Before, it was part lecture, part fight, part nothing getting accomplished but hurt feelings. Now, because of our agreement, I ‘agree’ to sit down and shut up and take my medicine. She loves this because this is the power exchange she seeks. She wants me to “listen” to her. She wants me to shut up when she has something to say.
One night, she lectured me for twenty minutes about the way I set the table. It was just the two of us, who was I getting all fancy for? But you see, I was told how to do it and I didn’t “listen” to her. So, she literally grabbed me by the ear, sat me on the couch and lectured the living hell out of me. Finger pointing and all. Then she made me set the entire table again – twice. But after that? She was very loving and very aroused at her success correcting me.
I get lectured pretty regularly by her and I’m fine with it. After she lets off steam, life is quite good. So it’s very worth it.