Why Should I Want A Submissive Man?
I recently had my first experience with a submissive male. Well, this wasn’t my actual FIRST experience. The first submissive male who approached me forgot to tell me he had a domme until 3 weeks after we started dating. That happened a little over 2 years ago.
So this was my second time allowing a submissive man who approached me to gain my attention. Too bad he was not concerned with being considerate of our agreement and my limits so I had to let him go. I set a limit that he could not call me (he could text instead) and he proceeded to call me repeatedly anyway. After the 2nd phone call I told him there would not be a 3rd time with him disrespecting my wishes and I changed my number so that he will not disrespect me again. And I deleted his number.
It was quite easy for me to let him go, simply because I am very content and happy as a single woman. In fact, my life is so much better when I am not dating. I enjoy outings and events and adventures so much more when I am doing them alone.
Allowing any person, man or woman, into my life, is usually done out of idle curiosity, wondering if I have been wrong to conclude that life is just so much more amazing when I am walking alone.
So after the fiasco with the last submissive man, I posted on Facebook about it and my friends all said that I was way too strict. I posted on Fetlife about it and I received a private message saying that I was awesome for setting a standard and teaching him a lesson he will never forget.
In all of these mixed opinions, I know what feels right for me and I usually follow that knowing that there is not ONE SINGLE individual on this planet whose life success makes me want to be just like them. In that respect, there is no one’s opinion that I value over my own.
With this beautiful freedom of never valuing anyone’s opinion above my own and never compromising who I am to gain the respect or attention of others, I find myself alone all of the time, which, I find peace in.
As I sat here tonight, thinking how grateful I am that I got rid of that submissive guy, I wondered why I always feel so relieved whenever I remove someone from my life. I also wondered what the hell makes people want to be in relationships.
When I am interviewing couples and I hear the pride in the voices or read the stories of how they treasure each other, I get it. But whenever I interact with someone, I think- Why would anyone want to put actual effort into maintaining this bullshit?
If I had decided to give that submissive guy yet another chance after I had already punished him TWICE for non compliance I would get to enjoy—
- Teaching him how to respect me by more rules and punishments
- Teaching him how to be a better man in this world
- Teaching him how to dress
- Teaching him how to respect himself
- Setting career goals for him and making sure that he achieves them
- Setting fitness and nutrition goals for him and making sure that he achieves them
- Rewarding him with his kinks when he finally does something correctly
- Molding him into a better version of himself
- Teaching him how to think about things other than sex and cartoons
Ok. So he gets ALL of that and what do I get?
I get a clean kitchen and bathroom? I get a warm meal?
I can pay someone to do that shit.
This morning I am a little cloudy and I am hoping you can help me by sharing, why I should want a submissive man?
I see how the man benefits but I do not understand what I could have gained from spending my energy pouring love and correction into him, especially if he was not wise enough to respect my limits.
I really, am clearly disenchanted by the idea of it at this point.
Please share your thoughts.