4 Responses to “Are You Married to a Masochist?

  • Bravo! You did an excellent job of laying it out there tactfully, without being salacious.

    I do want to point out that there are degrees to this. So folks should not get the stereotypical dungeon vision when they hear “masochist”. Many cases are quite mild.

    Also there is treatment, ways to mold the brain so that this is less an issue. There are ways to cope. Have faith in the power of love and time.

  • Very insightful and well written, with sensitivities to both parties……this imo is the reason that while accommodations and adjustments may be made and developed, the ideal partner for a maso sub male in an FLR, is a sadistically inclined woman, and vice versa…..again best to deal with this before significant relationship development like marriage, etc. occurs.

  • I’ve been a masochistic male pretty much since puberty & what you’ve written here is accepting & generous.

    A different way of receiving love, that’s putting it beautifully. I also loved the insight that you concluded with, about deciding which type of dominant woman you will be. There are many kinds.

    It’s origins are a mystery, I had a very kind & gentle childhood. Maybe not enough discipline? Maybe that’s it, maybe some of us are searching for the firm hand we lacked as kids?

    As an adolescent the girls in my school were often pretty mean. So maybe it’s that? I don’t know.

    Whatever sparked it though, I’m thankful. I wouldn’t want the wounds to heal. I am who I am and if there’s a cure for this I don’t want it.

    Thank you for your understanding.

  • After rereading this I just felt like adding a note: much as I am an incurable, brutality loving masochist, I also respond very well to more conventional expressions of love.

    My partner warmly tells me that she loves me and that I’m a wonderful boyfriend and my heart wells with joy.

    She thrashes me with a plastic rose on Valentine’s day and accompanies this pain with harsh words and the cocktail of fear gives me a very similar glow of romantic adoration, connecting us as I feel my love for her, rapturously.

    The masochistic gratification isn’t merely a sex buzz, it has the power to connect souls, just like a romantic meal or a candlelit shared bubble bath can bring romantic feelings to the fore.

    It’s about Her being a Goddess, and Goddesses are not always seen in their benign aspect. Sometimes I believe they enjoy the act of being great and terrible, and striking fear into the hearts of their ever appreciative worshippers… my partner genuinely seems to find such games fun!

    I deeply desire to worship Her in Her creative and destructive aspects! I desire to do everything I can to ensure her happiness, as we lie together, her elbow casually digging “cruelly” into my ribs. Bliss.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *