8 Responses to “Why Is Male Chastity Closely Associated With Female Led Relationships?

  • its been a while since I have last commented on this amazing site – but this has been a topic I would like to think I have some insight on.

    I agree that the need or desire to have ones male ‘junk’ imprisoned in a device is about the males need and is focused on him or his plight. I understand it from a femdom perspective and the desire for men to want to bring it into a loving FLR … But I believe it is not needed and completely missing the point, We need to stop focusing on our penis(s) and instead truly invest time and energy into the female genital parts and orgasim!

    I remember proposing to be chaste to my wife and suggested that.i should only expect or anticipate ‘release’ every three months which would coincide with the seasons. I coupled it with taking over the majority of domestic chores and duties and she went along with it. I was on the honor system and did not require a device. I read a number of books and became skilled at making her finely explode with joy and sweat and intensity with my tongue which we both never experienced in our previous 10 years of marriage. She quickly became ‘hooked’ and saw and experienced the benefits of our refocused intimacy.

    For her my not cuming equated to her having a new level of bliss and this quickly became our ritual. We have never gone back and my chastity started us on a new sexual focus which is truly is about her. This ‘serrogate bliss’ empowered both of us – it makes me so proud and fulfilled.

    So I feel that chastity or a refocus on who’s release is really paramount, can be an amazing tool – without need of kink or devices – to be a building block of an evolved relationship and maybe even sociaty.


  • i read the article with utmost interest and have liked it immensely. you’re absolutely right in what you say about male chastity being associated with FLR and you’re also correct in saying that a Woman should not be given conditions or make Her work to earn his love in fact this is exactly the view which my loving Wife too has and that was why She took quite a long time to decide as to whether She could be the one who would take control of our relationship even though i was in a hurry for Her to take over control of our relationship. finally after much deliberation and after making Her terms and conditions perfectly clear to me (which i happily accepted) She had agreed to lead our relationship. it’s been almost five years now since She has taken over and i must say that i have never been happier in my life. by Her control,authority, guidance and leadership She has brought joy to my life.

  • It seems odd that a practice that removes the focus on the man and his penis is viewed as the opposite of that objective consideration. I am not aware of a word that describes the practice of being placed in and taken out of a device over and over again, but that word is not ‘chastity’. Lock it, forget it — move on. That seems reasonable, and more in line with what the devices are meant to be used for, no?

    It really doesn’t matter whether you are in a device or not, if you are ejaculating during sex, even if those incidents become less frequent, it isn’t really chastity at all is it?

    • Good point! The term is more like- orgasm control instead of chastity! You are correct!

  • This is a really great article that touches on something important!

    I agree that for many men, chastity is a kink that turns them on and wanting a lover to act as keyholder is to want to have a personal desire fulfilled. There’s nothing wrong with that, but you’re absolutely correct that for some men, it has nothing to do with empowering the woman.

    I think that there’s nothing wrong with that so long as everyone is happy with the arrangement. The same is true with other kink such as domestic discipline, training, cuckolding, restraints, etc. For many of these couples, it’s about satisfying the submissive’s desires.

    I would take it a step further and say that this can be true about the entire concept of FLR. For many men who seek FLR, it is about fulfilling a personal desire. There’s nothing wrong with a man seeking a woman who is fulfilled in such a role.

    However, I realised that none of the above is really about what it means to be loving or submissive to another person.

    To me, loving my wife means that I put her first and give her everything she could desire as much as I reasonably can. Nothing more or less than that! In other words, to make real her “dream life”, to use your words from “Submissive Gentlemen Are Heroes.”

    If we both wanted to, we could use the above kinks to express our love, but at the end of the day, kink isn’t what love is made of.

    I hope you don’t mind me responding to old articles. I’ve just recently become interested in these topics.

  • Is the male always kept chaste in a FLR ?

  • Chastity is a classic feminine viture – the classic femine virtues include submissiveness and, in this context could be seen as “submissive virtues” applicable to submissives of either sex/any gender.

    (The other aplicable classic virtues, BTW, are obedience and piety. Think about it.)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *