6 Responses to “Study Reveals Men Do Not Prefer Intelligent Women

  • It is my belief that most men, even those who long to be with a female leader, will at first be intimidated by a strong, intellectually superior woman and will tend to shy away and maintain distance from her. He does this for self preservation, nobody likes rejection, and he feels he’s not good enough for her or not up to her standards. Therefore he will sort of reject her, by keeping a distance, before she can reject him…at least in his mind he think’s this is what she will do. And that is why submissive men have to be wooed by stronger women, she has to let him know she will not reject him before he has a chance to prove himself to her. Men have been brought up to believe that women prefer dominant men over submissive ones…and women have been socialized to believe the same thing. Sites like ‘Conquer Him’ are helping to break down this misguided belief.

    • This is an interesting perspective. Men fear rejection from intelligent women and need to be pursued by them to reassure them that they deserve to be loved? Wow. This makes sense when I think about the responses from the dominant women survey. This kind of mentality is one of the most popular perspectives that dominant women reported that they hated about submissive men. I will share more during the FLR Training For Men.

      • Some submissive men have to be pursued more than others, and it’s up to the woman to decide if a certain man is worth the extra effort to reassure him and gain his attention. Other submissive men may need only a few nudges from her to make him begin to think he is pursuing her, when in reality she is doing the pursuing. In any case, she gets what she wants, as usual!

  • I think men will become less intimidated by supremely intelligent and confident women as more and more of them become visible in daily life. The backdrop is slowly changing. When I was a kid (in the 50s and 60s) I can’t recall any women who were political leaders and not even many who ran their own businesses. Maybe the woman who had the hairdressing salon, but I’m not even certain about her. It was a patriarchal society and men pretty much ran the show because they were (wrongly, as it turns out) considered more capable and less likely to be distracted from the main game by perceived female traits like emotions and softness. You had to be hard, apparently. For some reason it was considered best to ignore the mess men were making.

    Now there are many capable women in politics, and their numbers continue to grow. Not quickly enough for me, but it is changing for the better. Australia has recently had its first female Prime Minister and America may well have its first female President soon. I can recall when the prevailing wisdom of TV networks was to have a reliable-looking middle-aged man reading the news bulletin … now the news hours are fronted by confident, articulate and intelligent women. Same with the current affairs shows, both on TV and radio. They are smart women and they are not being hidden away behind closed doors. It is becoming the natural order of things.

    It’s probably true that there are still men out there who consider being spoken to, let alone being in a relationship with, an intellectually superior woman an affront to their fragile sensibilities and ego but hopefully it’s getting better. I guess it depends who you ask.

    Serving a gifted highly intelligent woman, abiding by her wise decisions and being supportive of her leadership is a profound experience for me. It’s what constitutes a beautiful FLR and I can’t imagine a devoted male not striving to make it happen. It’s safe to embrace her criticism and correction … and her intelligence. It’s about her helping you to become the best man you can be for her.

    • You’re quite right, it’s not about being the kind of man that you think society expects of you (i.e. macho, assertive, dominant, etc.), as many men feel they must be, but about being the kind of man that SHE wants you to be.

  • Regarding the survey and purported conclusion: Much ado about nothing. There are enough polls to come up with any answer you want. This one contradicts itself but the authors draws a conclusion that is an opinion based on no real information. A sample size of 100 men is so small as to be meaningless. There is no mention of the statistical significance of the poll (that is how unlikely that the result is an accident of sampling), at least in the report we see.

    IMHO, people tend to seek out people that have an intelligence roughly similar to their own. Certainly I don’t want to submit to a woman whose intelligence is much less than mine. As to women more intelligent than me, I’ve had some great female friends that were more intelligent than me, but never formed a relationship with them: I like to think that I could but I didn’t. While the phrase “opposites attract” contains some truth when people compliment or fulfill each others needs in some way, I think there is also a tendency to seek people we have characteristics in common including things like intelligence, looks, education, etc. Exceptions can be found, of course.

    I have enjoyed the discussions so far, the wisdom and the exploration of concepts in them. They seem to have left the survey in the dust.

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