3 Keys To Happy Female Led Relationships

Previously on Rachel’s Journey to FLR: I Am The Ultimate Decision Maker

Love, Communication and Respect are Key

As in other long-term relationships, the basis is love and respect.  While someone looking onto our relationship may not understand that either are always in existence with some of our activities, all happenings are within a framework that has been carefully constructed; everything is consensual.  The long-term feelings are important to both of us.

In our case, the relationship was created over a long-period of time.  It started with a mutual interest in spanking and my interest in giving anal activities.  Shortly after the relationship started, I learned that I enjoyed giving the spankings.  I had long thought I was a switch (meaning that I wanted to give and receive) with a preference to receiving the spankings most of the time.  Conversely, John was used to giving 90% of the spankings so as I shifted from being a switch to the ER (spanker), it was a slow process and one that was not always easy for my partner.

When we met, John was an anal virgin so offering up his cute bottom to be “poked” was difficult for him despite my slow and gentle approach.  It took two sessions to get a medium size butt plug fully inserted into his bottom (while he continued to truly ask if he was bleeding!).  Anal beads turned out to be something he couldn’t accept but he did learn to accept my finger(s), other toys, and (after considerable pleading) a strapon cock (More on that later!).

Throughout all of this power exchange, we also changed our dynamics in everyday life.  I enjoyed the power, making decisions (or proxy some decisions for him to make) and setting the parameters.  For example, I love taking pictures – lots of (g-rated) pictures all the time.  While usually John accepted this part of me, sometimes he would dismiss my desire and other times he grew an attitude in having to show his attractive smile one more time.  Once we approached our FLR fully, gone were those days of dismissing even one picture.  Instead, he is the one handing the camera to a waitress or a stranger and asking if a picture could be taken.

The same is true with holding my purse.  He would act like it was a time-bomb when I would hand it to him while making a phone call or getting my keys out for the car.  Now he freely takes it from me without being prompted and holds it sometimes for an entire walk to give me a break.  He shows that he is working to anticipate my needs and exceed them; when he falls short, a simple question or comment usually puts him on a more serving course, although punishment is always possible. Communications helped him make that change and love keeps it easy flowing.

In our FLR, I set the limits and structure of daily life.  I set out the rituals of waking up (I like it quiet in the morning.), what normally plays on the family room television or when out at a hotel, the shared activities on a mutual days off, and bedtime activities.  I am fine with John watching sports, going golfing, and other activities he enjoys; other FLRs may not be structured this way.  I almost always require him select restaurants since John is a picky eater.  Another FLR couple we know is the opposite on restaurants and on ordering him his meal; she decides both and orders for him.

Sexually, I decide everything but our extensive communications assures that he doesn’t grow resentful and pleasant surprises keep their sex lives exciting and fun for both.  Yet, there is no question that I am the one who determines activities including when he will climax.

John adds: The gentleman also gains considerably.  I now fully understand how fortunate I am to have Rachel as my partner. Due to this journey, I have learned the value of physical interaction beyond sex.  I always enjoyed holding hands and more foreplay than probably most men, but I’ve learned how the value of giving up control and enjoying gentle touches knowing it’s not going to lead to my sexual release.  Learning how to be entirely obedient to Rachel or those she trusts has been very difficult for me yet complete compliance has allowed me to learn even more value from other activities.  I truly value touching, pleasing, and quiet mellow moments together even more.  This can range from sitting on a park bench, massaging her feet with lotion while we chat to the times when we lay in bed together and Rachel enjoys touching my erect penis knowing that I am not going to be permitted to climax that morning – or perhaps that week or month.  Over the years, the assumption went to me having release when we are in bed to me assuming I won’t get release.  And I’m certainly not allowed to ask to be able to cum or complain when it doesn’t happen.

If you appreciate this article please offer a donation to show your support.