You Don’t Have To Be a Mistress To Be In a FLR
As I continue to coach women through Conquer Him’s FLR Training For Women, I am noticing a recurring theme that I feel is general enough to address publicly.
Most women who are introduced to Female Led Relationships by their husbands or partners are told that they should become a Mistress or at least call themselves a Mistress in order for it to ‘work’.
This is simply not true.
The idea of having a dominant Mistress is induced by a male sexual fantasy. The type of men who express this desire have the fantasy of wanting to relinquish control to a woman and be forced to do things her way.
While this does not seem so horrible on the surface, the truth is, forcing a man to do anything is not a characteristic of a loving Female Led Relationship; it is actually a femdom tactic.
Femdom is a form of kink that can be enjoyed within the context of a Female Led Relationship, but it is not mandatory. We do not encourage women to seek out men who need to be brutalized to encourage their submission.
Instead of becoming a whip-wielding Mistress in a Female Led Relationship, I encourage you to become a Goddess in a Female Led Relationship. The major difference between the two is the way you interact with your partner.
If your partner expresses that he needs a Mistress, but you are wary of this role because it seems unnatural for you, you do not have to interact with him in that way if it causes you stress.
His desire as an Anchor in a Female Led Relationship, should be to make your life easier and to please you. If he makes a request that is not pleasing to you, you have every right to say No. A Female Led Relationship is not about fulfilling his fantasies so that he will be pleased with you, it is about you deciding what you want from a relationship and his desire to ensure that your wishes are carried out.
If his support and love for you are dependent upon you acting out his sexual fantasies then he is not truly loving you for who you are and he is being manipulative.
The truth is, a loving Female Led Relationship should be intimate and successful even if there is no kink or sex involved. When you reach that point, you will truly understand what it is like to be loved unconditionally.
You don’t have to be a Mistress to be in a Female Led Relationship if that is not a true expression of who you are. A Goddess in a Female Led Relationship fully understands that who she is at her core, without the bells, whistles and leather, is always good enough.
Previous Post
Next Post
I certainly agree that any man hoping for a sustainable and loving FLR should understand up front that it is all about him working hard to please his Goddess and ensure that her wishes are carried out to her satisfaction. A FLR is never about her pandering to his fantasies unless it pleases her to do so. If she doesn’t wish to be called Mistress (or anything else) so be it. My Leader has no interest in being called Mistress, prefers most of the time to be called by her first name, although she does love to be told she is a Goddess. Apart from denoting the power of her femininity, it does reaffirm for both of us my willingness to serve and obey her, and her high expectations that she will be treated as such.
I feel like I have written something along these lines somewhere else, but I can no longer recall when, where or why, such is the attention span of the average male … and I’m pretty sure mine’s average. This is why we have capable Female Leaders with a greater intellectual capacity to guide us and train us to become better servants to them, and to be firm with us when necessary. No wonder it requires the patience of a Goddess!
I don’t believe for a moment that an intelligent Female Leader would stand being second-guessed, having her loving authority undermined or being topped from the bottom by any male hoping to be invited into her domain and permitted to serve her. That, for us, is not a FLR. Somebody would need to come up with another name for it.