Dear Queenie: I Used To Be The Dominant Partner & Now I Am Confused

Dear Queenie,

I am fascinated by the site. It is a real discovery for me. I have so many questions. I am married to my second, younger wife. Our relationship has changed dramatically over the last year or so. I used to be the dominant partner. This has changed. My wife now pretty much decides what we do. When. Where. With who.

We do not have children although I have  a married son and 15 year old daughter who lives with her Mother.
My life has changed in so many ways. I feel like a completely new person.  My wife has also changed. Some of these changes are good and some are, to me anyway, not so good. It is hard to understand sometimes. I wrestle with so many emotions now. Arousal. Love. Jealousy. Anger. Humiliation. Confusion. Desire. 
 
David

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Hi David.

Thank you for writing in and sharing a part of your journey with us. As I read your story, I could not help but smile as I relished in the juicy joy that you must be feeling at this point in your life.

You have been given a new lease on life. Not only have you stepped away from your previous relationship, which I am certain never fulfilled you. You have also allowed your new relationship to transform into a female led relationship, a transition that you probably never knew you even desired until it happened.

Why are you feeling so many conflicting emotions? Why have you not walked away from the confusion of what your head says is the correct way to be versus what thrills your soul? Well, the answer is, you have been craving this thrilling feeling all of your life. You may have grown up with certain expectations for how you should behave and what you are expected to do and experience. You were a good guy, you followed all of the rules (for the most part) and turned to be a productive member of society just the way you were trained to be. The only thing missing was bliss.

This new wife that you have has turned your world upside down. You are confused because you are still trying to hold onto the expectations that you set for yourself and you are delighted that she is leading ou down the rabbit hole. How can she lead you? You are perfectly capable of leading yourself. How dare she even try? Because she can. Because she should.

The truth is, the mere fact that she has become the woman you were meant to be shaped by signifies that she pushes buttons no one else can. That is the essence of a female led relationship.

Any man can decide to submit to a woman. But a man who submits and serves a woman even though he is shocked that he is doing it, is a man who has been gripped by something that is a little more powerful than love.

I offer Angel Card readings. They are similar to tarot cards but they have a more gentle interpretation and imagery. I use these when I want to deliver a special message from the part of myself that is fully connected with the Universe. I have pulled one card for you. This is the message it has to convey.

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