The Best Gift You Can Give To a Strong & Powerful Woman
Many men write in to express how much they yearn for a Powerful woman. They want to be controlled, dominated and made to uphold high standards both inside the bedroom and outside. When they express these types of yearnings I quickly remind them that what they are expressing is not a Female Led Relationship. They want femdom. Here is the difference.
When men want a femdom relationship they are asking for a woman to release them of their responsibilities to lead. They want to relax and allow a woman to make the decisions and take control of their lives, their future and their sex lives.
Honestly, while this seems like it is empowering to women on the surface, it actually hinders a woman’s progress if she is trying to progress. I find that older women past their 50’s don’t mind femdom relationships because they are more settled in life and have achieved more of their goals so they are able and willing to focus attention on a man. Younger woman who are driven and dedicated to creating a vision for their lives will become encumbered by a man who requires a lot of direction. While she knows that she is strong, the world consistently reminds her that she must never waiver in her strength.
She is a strong woman so she is not allowed to cry. She is a strong woman so she has to take care of the house, the kids and her career without breaking a sweat. She is a strong woman so she can not have a mental illness or a breakdown. She is a strong woman so she has to be twice as smart as a man in the pursuit of her career goals. She is a strong woman so she can’t let her emotions get the best of her. She is a strong woman so she has to keep the family together. She is obligated to be strong at all times and sometimes it becomes a burden.
Does she want to be submissive? Hell no. She simply wants a break.
She wants a man who can be a support to her. She wants a Female Led Relationship where the man is focused on supporting her goals instead of demanding that she focus on controlling him. She wants someone who wants to see her achieve, not because she demands it by threatening punishment, but because that is what brings him pleasure. He is a WILLING participant in their relationship. He is not there for the thrill he gets from experiencing fear of her.
The best gift you can give to a strong and Powerful woman is not more demands that she interact with you in the same way she interacts with the world. The best gift you can give to a strong and Powerful woman is to lighten her load so that she can relax when she is with you. Think for her. Plan for her. Be her eyes and ears. Relieve some of the pressure she feels when she is facing the world and going for what she wants, fighting against a patriarchal society.
Be her safe space. Create a space for her where she can recharge so that she can continue the work she is doing in the world.
Most men want femdom because it lightens their load. Most men can not function in Loving FLRs because they are not capable of being of service without thinking of what they need because they are deficient in a certain area and they want a woman to fill that void.
Do you want a strong woman for YOUR sake or are you willing to be a man who supports a POWERFUL woman who is intent on impacting the world?
If you want femdom, you want it for YOU. If you want a FLR, you want it for HER.
Know who you are. Know what you want. No choice is wrong. Be honest with yourself.
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How about this wild and crazy idea, of actually integrating both into a FLR relationship?~~ does it really have to be completely devoid of any FemmeDomme-ry, as many of your best candidates whether you realize it or not, actually would be happy and well incented to provide your FLR requirements you note above, if the woman was sensitive to some of their own kink-ed needs……fine and good and necessary that your approach here is pushing back against the do-me male subs which predominate in the bdsm world, but really you are painting a picture of a relationship devoid of meeting some these potentially good male candidates needs also—-just some food for thought!:)
Well said westfal. If you love someone and you have a good relationship, of course you’re going to be indulging their kinks. That’s a two way street and the sub male still needs to make sure that his Domina is getting all her needs met; that the play and love making isn’t always focused on his desires. This is common sense, I would think.
Likewise, outside of the bedroom, both parties should be supporting each other, helping each other meet their goals, nurturing and easing their burdens. That’s also a two way street. This is the way healthy relationships are supposed to work: give and take.
I’m sure there are men out there that 100% want to submit themselves to a woman’s will at all times, who only wish to indulge her kinks, support her goals, and want nothing but her happiness in return (and if that’s what they want, good for them), but I would think that’s only a fraction of men who have femdom / submissive tendencies. Classifying those men as somehow pure and more noble, and men who may bring some expectations to a relationship (just like the woman does) as somehow being abusive or lesser, doesn’t strike me as reasonable.
The more I read articles in this site, I am really pleased that I found this place.
What a very insightful article.
I did fell at some point in the trap of wanting to love and make my fife feel special (because she is)and the femdom lie.
Now I see that to love her as in a FLM, it is about doing what I can for her before she even asks for it. Making her relax when she is home for work, and not give her actually more stress by having to order me around.
She appreciate when I clean, do laundry and any thing at home so she doesn’t have to think about it. I do check with her before making major decisions, but I do take the load from her shoulders.
I understand that I must not be pushy, but to give and received what she gives me, without asking fr more.
She is a professional and very good at her job. The least I can do is pamper her at home after she had to lead different people at home. I let he vent and listen to her when she comes from a hard day.
I also work, but I want my position to be her support. Not because she needs me, but because I want to serve her.
I just told her today, that she really makes me happy when she let me do anything for her. After I give her a massage or do any other task for her, I make sure I say Thank you, since I am grateful for having served her 🙂
My simple hones opinion.
Juan Guevara
One last thing, I would really love if one day she would tell me “good boy”. I won’t ask of her to do it as I am not sure if she would feel comfortable saying it.
What I am doing, is telling her after I finish something, I am being a good boy for you. I really hoe one day she will catch up, and just tell me 🙂
Do you have any suggestion on this topic? or another expression that would make the man appreciated by the wife but not a simple Thank you?
Am I wrong for wanting this? Is this unfair for my wife?
BTW, at one point when I had the mistake of femdom, I vaguely remember a conversation when she told me she didn’t want a boy/son but a husband.
That was some time ago, and as I had express, we now have a loving relationship, and I do love serving her, but nothing had been talked or arranged. It is just me doing all I can for her, and she enjoying it. She does ask me for all kind of massages, and I think she enjoy that as I love serving my wife.
Did I say I am very proud of her 🙂
Juan Guevara
The only issue I see that you have is you wanting a formal recognition of a FLR from her. You also want her to call you a ‘good boy’ when she has specifically told you that she wants a man. So the only issue you have is really- you are trying to get her to conform to your fantasy of what a FLR is instead of enjoying the FLR that she has already offered you.
Thank you very much for taking the time to answer my comment.
Some times I guess I need a little slap to wake and see what I am doing wrong 🙂
Please rest assured that I am always making sure I don’t put pressure on my wife. I will stop saying that I am being a good boy, as I see that will make her uncomfortable.
I will remember that she is already giving me the type of FLR she can live with.
Thank you for your insight.
Juan Guevara
I appreciate the distinction you make between Femdom and FLR. When a man wants Femdom, it tends to be self-focused and adds to the woman’s responsibility. When a man wants a Female-Led Relationship, it tends to be other-focused and tends to lessen her burdens. Over and over I read about men who are asking, “How can I make her make me…?” and my response is usually, “Why? Why is it her job to make you? Where is honor? Where is responsibility?”
My lady’s leadership is her gift to me. My cheerful and enthusiastic response if my gift to her. It makes her happy, so I do it. It’s just that simple.