Are You Creating Your Fantasy or Hers?
When you say you want a strong and independent woman who is Powerful and does not hesitate to ask for what she wants you are in for a treat, but are you really ready to handle such a woman?
I recently met a man who was extremely smart. I offered him the opportunity to work on a business project with me and he accepted happily. I gave him a one sentence instruction to begin with: Send me a written outline of what you will contribute during our partnership.
He agreed to do just that.
The next evening he contacted me sharing a link to 3 visual presentations he had prepared. They were stunning, well thought out and professionally recorded. The only thing is- that’s not what I asked for. I asked for a written outline, not an example of his capabilities.
I ended our business partnership at that moment because I realized that he does not listen. In his quest to impress me, he ignored what I expressed and offered what he thought I wanted. I don’t like repeating myself; it throws me off balance when I have so much other work to do.
Although I told him directly- I do not want to work with you any longer, he continued to ignore that direct response to plead his side. Again, I was irritated. When a woman says NO, you should stop right there and respect her wishes.
Are you truly honoring her choices or trying to create your fantasy of giving her the treatment that YOU like to give? Are you listening to what she wants or are you trying so hard to impress her by giving her what you think she will enjoy?
Many men believe that catering to a woman means giving her flowers, candy and oral stimulation but since each woman is unique what makes you think that she values those things? Did she tell you she likes those things? Did she ask for them? Why would you try to force your fantasy on her and become upset that she doesn’t accept it with a smile?
I don’t like flowers. I like help with my business goals.
I enjoy candy, but I would prefer a home cooked meal.
Oral stimulation is great, but I don’t want that all of the time. I have to be in the mood.
Instead of trying to make her happy by offering her the things that you enjoy giving, find out what she likes and give those things to her.
How do you find out what she likes? Ask her.
If she is not used to being considered so thoughtfully this may lead her to feel challenged a bit since has never had to deal with such a request. Be patient. Be sweet to her and watch her reaction to see which behaviors she really enjoys.
I remember dating a man who would cook wonderful meals for me. He did not know which foods I liked but he could tell that I valued him cooking for me by the way I cuddled up to him after he did it. He would try different recipes and watch my face. I always lit up when he mentioned he was making broccoli and cheese as a side dish. He would make that regularly for me as he switched out the main dishes until he knew what would make me kiss him after a meal.
You should do the same. Even if she does not directly express what she wants, you can always tell by her body language and her reaction the things she truly enjoys.
Do more of that. Stop thinking about your fantasy of bowing down to a woman and kissing her feet as a symbol of a Female Led Relationship. A true Female Led Relationship is one where the man understands what the woman desires and delivers it without hesitation because he is capable of fulfilling all of her needs and he takes pride in it.
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I agree completly. When
the woman is happy I am
happy. Her needs always
come first.
I love that you dealt with it this way. Ultimately, you’ve probably done him a huge favour and sent him further along his steep learning curve. Once he recovers from his disappointment he’ll see it and be grateful. My Lady is similarly insistent about having her directives followed faithfully. She allows me a certain degree of creative latitude in some areas but we both feel it is respectful for me to ask before I get too far out of my depth. Her way invariably proves to be right.
I do want to encourage both women and men to join the Social Community here, it is an excellent way for people who are fascinated with the possibilities of FLRs, regardless of their experience, to get to know one another and discuss the many exciting aspects of FLRs both in a domestic sense and in the wider community. More strong capable Female Leadership is essential for the future of our planet and this is as good a place as any to begin mapping its evolution.
People are gradually joining the Community and there are positive signs and it will be wonderful when everybody is confident enough to share their thoughts, ideas, philosophies, experiences, misgivings, whatever, about the beauty and inevitability of wise and intelligent Female Leadership. I look forward to hearing from you …
Yes, I’ve been wondering about something along these lines. I want a man who will live in Florida/move there with me. It seems that men want a woman in THEIR area! Many women in MLR have left their families and moved cause the man wanted to. So, why, with a shortage of FLR opportunities, shouldn’t it be normal for men to expect to move to and live where she wants? Instead of hoping to only find a compatible woman in their town or expecting HER to move to where he lives. (Which could happen, but being more open to moving where she is or wants sounds more FLR to me)