Dear Queenie: I Want To Share My Wife
Dear Queenie,
As a submissive male married to a Dominant Woman, I would be open to sharing her, giving her the option to be poly, while of course I remain forever monogamous. I think this would ensure she would never get bored with the marriage. How often do you see this in a FLR?
Sam
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Dear Sam,
Let’s first rephrase your story so that I can tell you exactly what I felt when I read it.
Dear Queenie,
As a submissive male married to a Dominant Woman, I would like to be her cuckhold. This would arouse me very much. How can I convince her to please me in this way?
Sam
Well Sam. To answer your original question- I have only personally interacted with one male who is in a relationship similar to what you describe. Most of the couples in FLRs that I have personally interacted with aren’t interested in multiple partners.
The one gentleman who does participate in the type of relationship you describe does so because his wife wants it that way. It was not something that he presented to her. It was something he had to accept and appreciate about her because it was HER DESIRE.
If she wanted this type of lifestyle she would already have it. Dominant women who like multiple partners- go out and enjoy multiple partners. You wouldn’t have to give her the option. Why are you giving options if you are submissive?
You and many other men want to be involved in such a relationship but in order to do that you have to find a woman who is into having multiple partners. You should look for this trait in a woman before you get married if it means that much to you.
Women don’t typically get married so they can sleep around. She got married because she thought you were the best man that came into her life. Why would you want to lead her to look elsewhere? Was she mistaken?
You are not looking for polyamory because polyamory is when three or more people are all involved with each other and you mentioned that you want to be monogamous. I think you are looking for a hot wife but you are trying to disguise your desire by saying it would benefit her.
If you truly want to ensure that your wife never becomes bored with your marriage, you don’t have to encourage her to sleep with other men. Why is that even a consideration in your mind? If your wife is bored, you don’t tell her to find excitement with someone else. You take initiative and organize surprises for her. You can create ways to deepen your submission to her.
If you want to create a fulfilling, HAPPY, Female Led Relationship then just make sure you are intentionally doing things to make her happy and honoring her choices.
Queenie
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Reading through several of your articles, I generally find them informative, non-judgemental and well-written…but this one has a different tone.
I was not aware of how many submissive men actually found the idea of cuckolding to be erotic and enticing until my boyfriend broached the subject with me. It actually came as a bit of a shock at first, to be honest.
Instead of judging I sought to understand because this idea was so entirely foreign to me! Of course, having grown up in a Marine Corps family, the entire “submissive man” idea was also foreign to me! We’re taught “Men are supposed to be…” yet as I look at the women in my family, we are strong, dominant, intelligent capable women who do not flourish well being with domineering and controlling men. I realized that I would never be happy living under someone else’s thumb, so to speak. I also realized, looking back, that my strong personality often attracted submissive men…though I hadn’t really recognized that specifically. They didn’t work mostly because I don’t really think I understood that these men had different needs than the typical “dominant male”. I don’t even know if they truly understood that, as well! What you end up with is a whole lot of mixed messages & confusion…which is not conducive to sustaining a relationship!
The assumption that a woman would not be open to it if she wasn’t doing it already, for instance, I have found to be false. We are socially conditioned to repress that notion and for many the thought that it is even an option doesn’t even occur to us. We assume our partner would be opposed because a dominant man would not allow such a thing…but we’re not with a dominant man. That doesn’t mean that it necessarily has to or should happen…but open communication is important in any relationship.
Many submissive men fear their partner getting bored or being unsatisfied. It’s quite common…though not all submissive men are open to or turned on by the concept of cuckolding. It is actually about the satisfaction of seeing their partner satisfied, not all cuckolds are into the humiliation portion that seems to be a common theme in many stories. Just as not all submissive men enjoy humiliation but some do.
Anyway…I’m still learning, but I think that it may be a topic worth exploring a bit further before dismissing the notion and chastizing the submissive man asking the question.
If it was introduced and brought a level of freedom to your life then it was a good thing. You are one person though and I am in contact with many women whose husbands want this so badly that they feel pressured to perform. I want women to know that just because a man requests to be cuckholded/serviced by performing as a hot wife so he can get off, the woman does not have to do it. Any man who makes such a request is asking for a performance. If she is truly dominant and this is what she wanted, she would never have to ask for permission or need him to encourage her.
If she has not mentioned this to him and he requests it, it is not for her pleasure, it is for his. Her pleasure is the focus of the relationship.