MY FLR Does Not Have Chastity
I am involved in a Female Led Relationship that does not use chastity. I love self pleasure and would be miserable if I didn’t do it several times a day. That in no way diminishes the absolute love, adoration and respect that I have for my girlfriend and she does not see it as a problem that she has to correct.
Honestly I think I would feel less submissive if I was deprived of my self pleasure or was in chastity. I serve her because I love her, I genuinely want her to feel strong and powerful. I want her to get her way. My submission is a beautiful gift to her, at least that is how I view it. I always seek to please her. I feel absolutely awful about myself if I screw something up and make her unhappy. For me this all comes from a place of total love and respect.
I want her to be in control of the relationship. I need her to be in control of the relationship. I absolutely worship the ground she walks on, and it feels so good to me to make her feel special and powerful by always putting her needs first and deferring to her if there is ever any type of disagreement.
So I definitely do not think one requires chastity for a successful FLR. There just needs to be a true desire on the part of the submissive to empower and please the dominant. Perhaps most men need chastity in order to feel submissive, but definitely not all men.
As far as my motivation for submission and service, I am motivated by my love for her. We don’t really have any set repercussions for bad service. When she’s unhappy I just feel like total shit, and that’s worse than any made up punishment could make me feel. I never want to let her down.
Perhaps our relationship is an outlier. We have had an on again off again relationship for about 5 years. We’ve experimented with a lot of things, from a traditional relationship, to switching roles in a D/s (we are both switches). We always had a lot of conflict and miscommunication and it got messy.
Then I stumbled across the concept of FLR and presented it to her. I told her honestly that it became clear to me that I could never end this relationship because I just love her too damn much, and that I was just going to accept everything she did and not try to control her anymore. We butted heads a lot.
I vowed to her that her needs would always come first from that point on. That she made the final decision about everything. That she can do whatever the fuck she wanted to do, period, and I would embrace it. I told her she now makes the rules, and while I might want to discuss something from time to time at the end of the day she makes the rules and she has final say.
That was about 6 months ago, and things have never been better between us. It took all the conflict out of our relationship. It took all the pressure off of her. She can do anything she wants to and I will unconditionally love her, support her and obey her. It’s such a beautiful concept, I feel so lucky to have stumbled across it. I wish more men could be secure enough about themselves to give it a try.
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This sounds absolutely perfect!
I don’t get posts like this. Basically the writer states, “I want to do whatever she says but I also love to masturbate – several times a day – and for that reason don’t feel like chastity is right for us.
Where does ‘she’ come into the picture with this out of control masturbation habit that is so self serving and probably undermining the entire relationship?
I must be getting old but this oozes with conditional love – for if it were not, then the writer would indeed be open to chastity to stop the addictive behavior he can’t conquer himself
In his entry he states that she does not feel the need to control his masturbation. It is her choice. This is not a femdom blog. The women here are being encouraged to do what THEY want, not what some dominatric fantasy depicts. If his service is consistent and heartfelt, he is being an awesome partner. You may need sexual control for motovation but he is serving from his soul, not his penis.
My error. I neglected to read that statement. I retract my comment and apologize to the writer.
I completely agree with this approach. Chastity can be fun, but ultimately, I would always want to be served from the heart too, and likewise my preference involves no set punishments. I’m happy that it’s working out well for you! Hopefully your relationship will be a long and stable one full of excitement and joy 🙂
I have what seems to be the most ironic of situations in that I obey my wife’s wishes that I lead in all things. If I try to do something for her, if she doesn’t stop me, she at least outdoes me by serving me in a greater way in return. It is her wish that I lounge and relax while she does the housework, even though I’ve tried to help. I really don’t get it… especially since I am submissive in many ways. She just won’t have it. Serving me in all ways when I am at work or home from work makes her feel happy and complete as a wife, she says. All I can say is that I am amazingly blessed, but can’t help but feel a bit guilty.
One of the greatest aspects of FLR for me is her allowance of me to be who I am when I am alone. My mind races in all directions and just a thought of her instantly. Her power assumes control of my thought and guides them back to her. It is as if it’s a mind control or something. Whatever it is it Rocks my world! !!