How Do I React To My Partner’s Sexual Kinks?
Let’s begin by defining what a kink is.
According to Wikipedia: In human sexuality, kinkiness is any unconventional sexual practices, concepts or fantasies.
The women and men of Conquer Him must understand that all conventional sexual practices, concepts or fantasies were selected by average humans and became socially constructed sexual norms. This means, someone made up what is acceptable and what is not acceptable and taught others to follow these expectations. But why do we judge ourselves by standards that an average minded human set? Why is the term kink something we should be ashamed of?
A kink is usually something that is abnormal to ‘proper’ society. But what is ‘proper’? An average mind created what is proper and taught us to feel shame if we do not follow the directions from his average mind. Anyone who deviates from what his average mind could conceive as acceptable would be labeled weird or worse yet, wrong. This should never have happened. Why must we allow others to determine what are acceptable forms of love and relationships?
Most people have social deviances related to sexuality but the more insecure they are and the more they yearn for social approval, the more they hide their deviant sexual desires or try to enforce those average social norms on others. You can always tell the most insecure minds; they are the ones trying their best to force others to interact with others and live lifestyles that are aligned with socially accepted ideals. They are following the rules mandated by society and it makes them angry when others develop the freedom to be true to themselves and their natural desires. Instead of being happy and enjoying their lives, they form organizations trying to stop others from living and loving the way they want to. Their secret rationale: If they can’t be free to love in their own way, why should others be free?
True freedom in our society will come when people are free to express their sexual preferences without judgement so that they can indulge and enjoy themselves without harming others or themselves in the process.
Since this has not happened yet, I want to be sure to offer a bit of support as you try to decide just what is acceptable as a sexual kink and what is not.
Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial.
The key to truly enjoying your sexual life is to find a partner who can not only accept your sexual kinks but also appreciate your sexual kinks. And vice versa.
For women who are trying to understand why your partner has deviant sexual desires, it is important to value the fact that he shared them with you in the first place. When your partner shares a sexual desire that is typically thought to be deviant from what is acceptable, they are standing before you completely naked and vulnerable, inviting you to know who they truly are.
They are offering you the trigger to their pleasure and satisfaction while risking rejection.
When a person shares this part of themselves with you, you should react with appreciation because they obviously trust you enough to stop pretending to be socially acceptable. When expressing this level of trust by revealing who they really are, they are expressing the most sincere form of love. Appreciate that.
You are under no obligation to indulge them in their sexual kinks but when you realize that someone loves and trusts you enough to stop wearing a mask you might find that what you once thought was so disgusting isn’t so bad after all.
True love indulges. True love understands.
If you are a woman having an issue understanding and accepting your partner’s kinks and you would like help working through it, sign up for our Women’s FLR Leadership Coaching Program. Love is not as tough as we make it out to be. Look at your partner. Open up and accept them for who they are instead of who society tells you they should be.
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My Mistress and I have really started to enjoy each other’s kinks. I believe that when you get down to it, if you both can enjoy them and grab something out of these kinks, then they can be very rewarding.
My Mistress has desires of cuckolding me, at first i was very scared by these thoughts from her, however now that we are engaged in this, i realize that when she is out performing this kink, she comes home and wants me so much more, and that is something that i can really buy into.
This act or kink actually brings up closer together as a loving couple.
If you can get past your initial reactions to some of these ideas, i believe it can really fulfill your relationship.
Thank you for this rational and compassionate piece.
There are sites out there on which mods delight in carrying out mass profile deletions of all those kinky souls who are deemed as undesirables on account of how they and their partner choose to show/receive love, then boast as to the headcount of the cull! Fire out unsophisticated generalisations (all Femdom is porn) and divisive pedanticism with regard to semantics, (the blendword Femdom doesn’t really mean female domination – it just means PORN) and generally seek to impose limitations on individual, consensual sexual expression.
These attacks come not from the popular press or orthodox religious groups, the like of which often tend to bare the brunt of accusations regarding intolerance, but perplexingly, from groups set up to supposedly endorse the ethos of a relationship containing consensual female dominance & male submission. Go figure!
Anyway, that’s me done talking about all that. I’m going to enjoy your site and others similar to it, because that’s more important. đŸ™‚
So, this is one incurable kinkster who would just like to say, once again to all at Conquer Him (with Love)… Thank you đŸ™‚
Thank you for being here.
I control my man and our relationship by using the threat of and actual tickle torture. It might be kinky for some but for me and my control of him it’s a great tool to direct where our FLR goes.
I like what Michele suggested, although my preference of control is a CB-6000. We all know why we are here – women make better leaders.
After all it is about her pleasure, humbly yours with my eyes cast downward.
This is a good article. My girlfriend and I have a typical sexual relationship but as we all know, sexual activity is not relegated to the actual act of sex. For instance, ever since we’ve signed our FLR agreement, my girlfriend has found she gets significant sexual satisfaction by lecturing me. She literally gets wet sitting me down and putting me in my place. I know this because after she lectures me, she will often have me go down on her.